General News of Sunday, 16 June 2019

Source: www.ghanaweb.com

#FakePregnancies: Some Ghanaians share their secret stories

File Photo File Photo

In Ghana, childbearing is the primary goal of marriage, and women are expected to begin having children shortly after they are married.

This is because children provide emotional fulfillment and social status, and can contribute to the household economy by helping with domestic and subsistence activities. As parents age, children become an important source of old age support.

Infertile women often face considerable stigmatization, mental distress, and potential exposure to domestic violence, gossip, and social stigma can also arise.

This week, some anonymous Ghanaians confided in popular blogger and TV Show host Abena Magis to share their stories on why they faked pregnancies to either save their marriages or to make their spouses happy.

She titled such stories #FakePregnancies on her Facebook page, monitored by Ghanaweb.

Read what some of them said

Story 1

Abena, I was happy going to see my first baby. My girlfriend was in Ghana but I was then in Nigeria. I always sent her money except the last three months because I traveled to Nigeria. I decided to return and make sure she delivered safely. I went to Somanya from Accra, accompanied by a friend who knew where she stays.

On seeing her I was happy because her stomach was bigger due for delivery. She took us to one room and welcomed us. My friend excused himself so I decided to touch her belly and feel my unborn child. She didn't to allow me so I forced and touched it. Guess what, it was cloths. Before I could say anything the lady vanished like air!!! I've never seen her since then but some of my friends met her in town years later and told me My real life story Dec 2009

Story 2

. Abena, I had to fake a pregnancy for my husband to marry me. We are divorced now but I will still do it all over again. After 8 years of dating, toiling with him to build the house we will live in after marriage, he started dating some girl and even took her to meet his parents. I was there for him throughout and that's how he wanted to pay me.

He loves kids and told me so many times when dating that no matter what he will marry the mother of his child. I faked the pregnancy because I was scared his side chick will get pregnant first. (He always insisted she's just a friend but I knew he was lying).

We got married and I used my menses to lie about losing the baby. We had no issue in our marriage until the second year when he started cheating. It became worse after I had our second born. Money was tight and he used it to take of his girlfriends. The worse was when he used his savings to throw a lavish party for one of them. We owed school fees for our son. We're divorced now but he takes care of the kids.

Story 3

Auntie Abena, pls I'm taking you as my sister. Pls keep me anonymous. No one should know it's me. I want to share my story about the fake pregnancy and what it can make people do.

My wife and I have known each other since class 3. That's when I proposed to her to be my girlfriend. She said yes and because of that we grew up as boyfriend girlfriend. She's my all and I am her world.

We got married and that's when everything went wrong. Auntie we had a son. He was so cute that cute that very nurse came to visit him at the ward. We went home and slept. We woke up and he was dead.

It was tough on both of us but we didn't lose hope. I kept being strong for her when she got pregnant and 3 months later miscarried. 5 miscarriages in 2 years and my wife was no longer the woman I married. The last 4 and 5 pregnancies we told her to stay home. Not do heavy work and just take care of herself. It didn't work. She stopped living.

Hmm,, Kumawood movies show you witches making someone live like they're dead. She didn't eat, she slept for hours and when she woke up will cry. She didn't watch movies, go to church, go anywhere because she'll see kids.

I don't remember when I decided to get a child. I never sat down and said I will steal a baby. My wife will sometimes put a cloth around her waist. She will do this because she missed being pregnant. Sex with her was tough because she will cry when her period came. It was around this time I went to a hospital and asked a nurse if I could get a baby. I don't know why I asked that. It just came out because the Bible says out of the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks. I was expecting her to shout at me or tell me to go. She just told me to follow her. I was scared but I met a doctor and we made the arrangements. I was shocked.

I went home. I only told my wife she'll have a baby. The nurse called me 4 weeks later and I paid her for a baby boy. He's the source of my wife's happiness now. I don't know who gave birth to our son but I don't think they'll be able to take care of him the way we have.

No auntie. Our families never doubted us. My sister saw my wife wearing a cloth but didn't ask anything. We were always praying she doesn't lose the baby so will never say anything but pray. Everyone was happy and took our explanation that we didn't want anyone to know before we were sure our baby won't die. Our boy is 2 auntie. We are a happy family because of him.

Story 4.

Abena, I was 19 years when my mum got me a husband. The man attended our church but was outside. He came every 6 months. I was against the idea but gave in due to pressure. Imagine being married to someone who is 47 and having a potbelly but I was skinny and short. I used to walk with his kids and people thought I was their small sister.

After 2 years, pressure became like my water and food. From "Adjoa when are you going to have a baby" to "I will take you a certain pastor." I was 21 and even became thinner because my husband will come down and give me his own pressure.

3 more years came. I was then 24 and my husband was chasing anything in skirts. He did it secretly at first but he was now doing it openly. He insulted me, refused to pay my fees and abused me at every turn. Abena, I wanted to experience some love. I was tired so I faked a pregnancy. I wanted to do it once for him and everyone to stop calling me a witch who has tied her womb or eaten my babies spiritually.

Abena, he showered so much love on me though he was still womanizing. He wanted me to go and give birth outside. I knew he'll catch my fake pregnancy and called him after 2 days that I lost the baby. The blood was real. I paid some kibab seller to give me blood and poured it on me. He changed from his ways and now showed respect to me. I didn't want to go to a hospital because they'll know I was never pregnant. He kept on insisting so I told him we should go to a fertility clinic and check to make sure I can give birth again. It took 3 weeks and he said okay.

Abena, they checked him and the problem was from him. Low sperm count because he's diabetic. Abena I cried that day looking at him. He couldn't raise his head because he knew. Abena, he knew all along but watched his kids mistreat me. I told him not to worry because even though I lost the baby, I will give birth again.

Abena, I have a 5 year old son. His father doesn't know he's not the father. I got pregnant for a guy I met because I wanted to know if I could give birth. In 5 years, I will divorce my husband. Until then, I'm enjoying the benefits of living here with my son.