Coming soon to a cinema near you - The three million dollar thriller
As Africa’s remaining contestants have crashed out of the football World Cup, Ghana’s misery is set to deepen when an American scriptwriter, and film director makes a film about the now internationally infamous three million dollar saga. Professor Darryl Wharton-Rigby is well known in Hollywood and also teaches at prestigious academies.
According to media reports, Darryl Wharton-Rigby's screenplay will centre on true story of the courier who physically took $3m to Brazil in an effort to stop the Ghanaian football team quitting the competition. The award-winning writer is planning a Hollywood thriller spun off the true and bizarre story of Ghana's World Cup cash. However, there will be a twist to this tale. In Darryl Wharton-Rigby's story, the $3m stolen after the courier is ambushed. He then has fewer than 12 hours to recover the money or face the wrath of his employers (and presumably the Ghanaian footballers).
I can improve the plot. Indeed, art sometimes truly imitates life. The scenario used in the film plot has been discussed many times in the Ghana media. Many people raised the point that the money could been hijacked at any point from start to finish of its trans-Atlantic journey.
Here is my twist to the plot: while the players were busy playing their last futile match, a gang of thieves goes to their hotel to steal their money which is stacked in their personal backpacks alongside the obligatory headphones and dark glasses. The thieves obviously head for the Amazon forest where they intend to hide until the furore dies down. The pursuit of the gang by the Brazilian Police aided by the seven Ghanaian police officers who are said to have accompanied the money and the entire Black Stars team led by the incomparable Coach Kwesi Appiah would make for a classic car chase across the South American country..
To add spice to the plot, we could arrange for a mini-carnival to be taking place during the car chase. This will be the opportunity for the film to show scantily dressed, brown-skinned Brazilian women dancing the Samba in various poses. In the film, Asamoah Gyan falls in love with a Brazilian beauty and refuses to come home. What he would not know is that Sulley Muntari, whose money was not stolen because he had been sacked, has also fallen in love with the same babe, with disastrous consequences. The two friends engage in a blood, sweat and tears fight which will be splendid in high definition. But the film’s happy ending is that the entire Black Stars and their coach decide to seek asylum in Brazil thus giving the country the opportunity for a fresh start. In the film’s final shot, the Brazilian thieves are arrested but surprise surprise – their defense lawyer is none other than Mr. Kwesi Nyantekyi, who has also decided to become a Brazilian…
So here we are; this is the final indignity that an American (from the USA which has caused such pain lately) must make a film out of OUR misery. I suggest that in the same way that the government of Ghana is challenging Moodys downgrade of our economic prospects, a coalition of the Ghana Association of Writers, Ghana Actors Guild and the Film Producers Association must challenge Hollywood over this film. This is OUR story and the right to make it must go to Kumawood and Ghallywood. Think about it: Jackie Appiah, who was actually in Brazil could play the woman at the centre of the fight while Liwin and Agya Koo play Asamoah Gyan and Muntari. We can find a role for Kyeiwaa later.