I'm beginning to suspect my husband joined my church basically to hook up with a decent ‘church girl’. When he first approached me, there was no attraction. I realized he liked me when he started hanging out with me at church activities, and was also trying so hard to be my friend. He wasn’t overly friendly, but he felt comfortable around me.

I started finding him attractive because he was attending Church frequently. The scale fell from my eyes when I saw him pray so earnestly one Sunday. Our friendship and the happiness that came with it started distracting me. I fell in love with him without knowing it. The man I fell in love with did not drink alcohol.

The man I am married to now drink alcohol and tries to lie about it. The man I fell in love with loved to pray. The man I am married to does not pray anymore. He finds church activities boring.

He treats me well and loves me and the kids so much, but I’m still beginning to think I do not know my husband so well. Is this the test of his real nature? Do I judge this book by its new cover? Do I have a cause to be worried?” – Unsettled O

Response from Abeku Adams

“Okay, thanks for choosing me for such a difficult task. I pray I get something useful to say. I was reading with concern, contemplating some grave deceit, until I got to the point where it says “HE TREATS ME WELL AND LOVES ME AND THE KIDS SO MUCH…”

It’s obvious he is a person who knows what he wants in life and he sacrificed what he had to sacrifice to get what he needed at some point (You). It was his win he got you. I do not know if you’ve sat him down over this. You need to, if you haven’t because it doesn’t come across he wouldn’t sacrifice these habits for you. That, he lies about drinking alone is a good sign.

As for the Church bit, it’s not something I recommend you compel a man to go You have no problem if he treats you well like you say. Don’t look pass the substance of a person’s character (TREATING HIS FAMILY WELL)

Cheers.”