Tabloid News of Thursday, 4 October 2012

Source: THE SUN

Homosexuals Switch To Masturbation

…In New Craze To Avoid Catching HIV-AIDS

By Kofi Safo-Antwi

One careless statement sometime last year on MASTURBATION by none other than the much-acclaimed Nigerian Pastor, Chris Oyakilhome, seems to have ignited part of the sexual craze in Ghana, giving the experience a two-dimensional push of avoiding HIV-AIDS as well as drawing spiritual support, in a terrain where whenever Nigeria blows its nose Ghana catches a cold.
At a unique forum in Nigeria on that occasion, Pastor Chris held everyone spell-bound when he held that masturbation was not exactly a bad thing, and ever since then the warped Ghanaian practitioner desirous of clutching on to steady-legged gospel arguments to advance his cause, loses little time in citing it in reference as gospel.
In an election year such as Ghana has on its hands, there is the temptation for the growing phenomenon to be glossed over and dwarfed entirely, when there is ever pointer to the fact that the canker is gaining currency, and is fast exposing the vulnerable to levels of an unnatural route to their sexuality.
On the prowl for some weeks now at joints around Labadi, Kokomlemle and the more seemingly decent neighbourhoods of Labone, Cantonments, East and West Legon in Accra, THE GHANAIAN SUN set on a couple of practitioners of the old crime who informed that, they had switched on to masturbation as a relieving sexual escapade away from contracting HIV-AIDS.
They explained that because homosexuality is essentially practised underground in the country, it was so embarrassing whenever one of their lot is hurled to the Police for one crime or the other over its practice, and therefore masturbation was a way out of the sexual equation once one’s libido is on fire.
When THE GHANAIAN SUN chose to probe further, it discovered that reports of forcible anal sex on especially first-timers was on the increase and that the Police have had to deal with a number of cases of this nature, where parcels of cash is usually volunteered by the guilty rather than face prosecution.
And to forestall all these embarrassing occurrences whose long term effect cascades into possibly contracting HIV-AIDS, most of Accra’s homosexuals have bought into Pastor Chris’ statement that Masturbation Is Not Exactly A Bad Thing, and instead, have resorted to playing safe from sickness and spiritual depravity by switching to that practice.
Fact is, most of these homosexuals have been privy to rampant deaths of members of their community at especially Labadi, where funerals of the notorious have been held in street corners consistently for the last four months.
On those occasions, there appear to be solidarity as alcoholic drinks laced with cigarettes and hard drugs fly freely. However, well in this state there is still the awareness of desiring to stay away from the old practice for after all, life is a much more precious commodity that can be lived in full if the individual plays safe, while keeping out of harm and trouble’s way.