LifeStyle of Tuesday, 26 May 2020

Source: Kofi Oppong Kyekyeku, Contributor

How to save your husband from the hands of side chicks

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When God Created the Universe, he created only the man and later created the only Female called Eve. Eve was practically given to Adam because there was no other woman to choose from. This means he had no choice than to accept Eve without thinking about it. He eventually stayed with Eve and they both sinned against God by disobeying the Almighty God. Practically, Satan was the cause but Eve caused Adam to eat the fruit too and that act made God threw them out from the Garden which was prepared for them.

Adam had no choice but to allow Eve to follow him and I bet if he had a choice, He would have prevented her. In another instance, he could have decided not to allow her to follow him at all too but what kept them together was because in Adam's eyes Eve was the only woman for him and that nothing should separate them since a covenant was made between the two of them for eternity. God was the witness of that covenant so it shouldn't be taken lightly. She was the only woman who was beautiful in Adam's eye as seen in Genesis 2:22-23 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man."

Although Eve contributed in their destruction, Adam made a choice by sticking to her, He could have stayed alone but he virtually loved her and that love was very deep, real, true, genuine and unconditional from my perspective. With all this, I am implying in this era, there are so many kinds of women around the Globe: tall, short, slim, plus-sized, fair, dark-skinned etc. This era is not like that of Eve’s and you cannot do anything to prevent your husband from having a side chick after marriage unless the man himself sees you as the only Eve meant for him out of these numerous women. It takes a man who is discipline and has self-control like Joseph, one who fears God, loves God to keep himself out of an extramarital affair. Remember a man who does not want to be kept by you will cheat no matter how you kill yourself for him but in all of this, there are some things you can do to keep his mind from side chicks.

1. The Very Vital Or Important One Is Prayer

As a believer, I believe prayer can solve any problem on this universe and it’s the only key to our problems. When you were on the altar saying your vows, it was a covenant between you, your husband and God. This means with God, you and your husband can have a peaceful and successful marriage. As a virtuous woman, you should always pray to commit your marital life in God's hands and let him lead your marriage to the right path.

Temptations may come, fights will arise, but if you always cry to God, He will hear you out and Grant you your heart desire. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

2. You Work On Yourself (Character And Attitudes)

Your husband saw many women, He noticed you because he saw the qualities he loved and wanted in you, approached you and dated you. During dating, you were submissive, respectful, dresses neatly, supportive, sweet as in calling him sweet names and pampering him, you looked your best (attractive) when going to meet him and all that. He loved everything and went to the extent of marrying you and after putting the ring on your finger you change overnight or should I say your real self-resurfaced?

By doing this, you push him to do the unthinkable like getting a side chick who will do the job you were supposed to do. One Pastor said, it is after the marriage that the man will see the most beautiful women around, the women who are more beautiful than his wife and it takes the fear of God to stay faithful. Getting the ring doesn't make you the only woman on earth because you are not my dear.

It takes more than the ring to be happy and prevent all those extramarital affairs.

To have your husband all to yourself, you need to go an extra mile by building on the qualities he liked in you. You must be submissive to him always. You can be a good woman but if you disrespect and disobey your husband, you are landing him straight in the hands of another woman.

COMMUNICATION: You must know how to choose your words wisely when you are talking to your husband. Not shouting on top of your voice when communicating with him, learn to use please, sorry etc…when talking to him, do not use abusive words on him and in quarrels do not use words you will regret and put your marriage in danger. Example: “I regret marrying a useless man like you, if you don't take care I will leave the marriage" - it is better to remain silent because words said cannot be taken back and decrease the nagging. Talk to him with all respect and he will love you.

DRESSING: I bet you know the kind of dressing your husband wants. If he wants you to look neat without exposing yourself when going out with you, you dress that way, if he wants you to dress and look sexy too you do so. If he likes makeup and fixing of nails you do it for him and if he doesn’t want that, try and look natural for him. You just have to look attractive, catchy, and neat all the time.

Being a Mrs doesn't mean you should always put on a headgear my dear, remove it, braid your hair, leave your natural on sometimes and change your face other times with nice weave on. Wash your hair frequently and look your best always. Put on heels to match dresses which need heels, down foot shoes for the appropriate dressing.

Personal hygiene must be maintained by bathing two times a day, use perfume to keep your body scent in good shape, shave all the time to prevent body odour because it scares men away, oral care must not be left out. Keep your mouth clean always and prevent mouth odour by brushing your teeth with toothpaste, you can also use mouth wash or visit the dental clinic when you have problems with your teeth in other to prevent mouth odour. Cut your fingernails short and clean too. Just be attractive, neat and presentable always my dear.

Bedroom Matter: Please and please don't be boring when it comes to sex. Before you even initiate sex you must first make the bed inviting for the activity by Putting on new bedsheets and iron it to prevent creases and cramps, play nice love song if needed, shave if your husband doesn't want a bushy Vjay but if he likes it just shave it in style or shape it for him, take your bath, put on a sexy panty, and nightwear or any catchy dress, put on your perfume to look all spicy and prepared.

Keep the vjay neat all the time and treat all infections because ladies are always prone to those infections.

When it comes to the styles, when I say styles it’s just the sex positions. You must not always sleep there like a log of wood my dear. You must also take in charge too because the side chicks always use that to take advantage of the main chicks. Learn the styles, be wild and aggressive during sex, you chip in your styles sometimes; you and your husband should create your own styles too. Learn and play with the right spots and talk about the performance after sex. When he does well, praise him and when his performance is beyond par, teach him the right thing to do next time.

Make sex enjoyable for both of you and my sister your husband will adore you for the rest of your life. Be Submissive, obey and respect him, know how to talk to him, Dress well for him, keep your personal hygiene intact and spice up your sex life always and add prayers and you are a success. You can pray but if your character is just bad you will lose your husband to another.

3. Know How To Manage A Home

A home is a place which provides comfort, everlasting happiness and habitat to you and your husband. A home is a place the husband should be running into and not running from. The thought of home should bring smiles, happiness, joy and beautiful memories to your husband and not the place that brings sadness, tears, fears and discomfort to him.

As a married woman, you should know how to manage your home. The home should be peaceful and serene to accommodate the two of you by keeping the house clean and tidy always, no littering of clothes and rubbish around, you must wash your dirty clothes and linens, dry them, iron it, hang them or fold them to their respective places. Don't leave your bathrooms and lavatory smelling like a dead mouse under a bed, but tidy those places up all the time, wash utensils, sinks and mop the floors of the kitchen as well and the entire environment in your house should be clean and accommodating. As a married woman, do not leave your house unkempt and dress nicely in town. You must keep the home neat before you dress nicely outside too. You don’t have to stay in the hall unkempt and if visitors are announced you will be running like Hussain Bolt to pick up clothes from your sofa and on the floor. It puts men off and he will not even feel the happiness to come back home to you.

They say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. A woman who cannot cook well will lose her husband to a side chick who knows cooking. Know how to prepare delicious food for your husband all the time. If he enjoys your cooking, he will be thinking about it while at work and mere hearing of food is ready on the phone will be like winning a lottery.

As a wife, you should create an environment that can keep him at home with you all the time. Men like to be with their friends sometimes and those friends will eventually land your husband in the hands of a side chick, so you must create an environment which will make him leave his friends and tell them my wife's company is far better than yours so I have to be with her.

Create a surrounding for him that will make him miss you when he is away from home. This is by watching the things he likes. Watch a football match with him. Don't support the same team because it will make it boring. If he supports Chelsea, support Manchester, if he supports Barcelona, support Real Madrid and if he supports Kotoko, switch to support Hearts of Oak. If it is time for the match to played and you are watching at home, get popcorn, ice cream, fruit juice and get ready for the match. Do not make it boring. Tease him when necessary and support your team by shouting and after the match argue small my dear. Play games with him like FIFA football/ PES games, mortal combat, you can play physical football with him if you have a small park (space) at the house. Be interested in his Job and business as well.

If he brings work at home, you must not get angry by complaining always like “why bring all these work home when you have been at work since morning”. Help him out and as a woman, you should know how to lure him to bed in the middle of the work. A sound Environment keeps a husband forever.

4. Help Your Husband (Support Him Financially)

One thing I have seen about some wives is that, when their husbands are financially sound, they will be happy, give all the best styles in the world, cook delicious meals, with all smiles all the time but when the man's financially strength changes, then they also change and be mounting pressure on the husband. When the man is financially unstable, it is not the time to add to his pressure by being moody, angry, raining of insults, and not cooking. By doing this you will lose your husband to another woman who will embrace him when he falls.

The Bible says God created a woman to be the helper. This means we must help our husbands in all aspects of life. It is not the duty of only the husband to take care of you but you as a wife can equally do so. When he loses his job and you are still working and earning money, take care of your husband because it is your responsibility as a wife. You should even be happy and proud for helping your husband out when he is not having money.

It is better for you to feed him and even give him some money to start up something small if you have than borrowing from his friends and banks. He is your husband and the money you make is our money, not your money so be his supporter when He is in need. Be the one to catch him when he is falling, the one to comfort him when he is down and the one to bring smiles in his face when he is in tears. Be there for him and do not give other women the chance to do your work for you. Support his dreams, business and crown it with prayers and he won’t depart from your side ever.

5. Work Hard (Stop Being A Liability)

Do not sit idle in the house and demanding and squandering your husband’s money anyhow, but work hard and support him. Men respect women who work hard and quite independent and do not like the lazy ones who are comfortably living in the house all the time. We are not in the olden era where our mothers were working as housewives ooo. This era, we both go out, bring something and support each other with it. You are eating his food, asking for money for pad, panties, clothes, bags, and money for your parents and sleep on top of it while he suffers alone.

At the office, he sees a young woman like yourself working her ass out and you think he won’t be attracted to that intelligent, hardworking and independent lady? Just keep on sleeping and your divorce will be left on your bed for you. It’s about time you stop being a liability to your husband and work as a woman.

A woman who works hard, provides things she needs though some think it’s the duty of the husband, help the husband out, and keeps the home peaceful will always have the husband's love and it will be difficult for the man to think of extramarital affair. When you do all these and your husband cheats just leave him because he does not deserve a good woman. Be a one in a million wife. Just work on yourself as a wife and other things will fall into places.