Rumor Mill of Monday, 19 January 2009

Source: Daily Guide

Juju hits Parliament

Unconfirmed but interesting information reaching DAILY GUIDE indicates that the use of supernatural powers ostensibly to outwit political opponents is surfacing in Parliament, the nation's second most powerful arm of government.

The paper has gathered that juju, otherwise known as voodoo, which involves magical spells, charms and sorcery, has been introduced into the House for reasons that may be too bad to be true.

The aim, it is believed, is to bewitch political rivals and make them imbeciles.

A piece of the parliamentary juju has been reportedly fixed beneath the chair of the Minority Leader and Member of Parliament for Suame, Hon. Osei Kyei Mensah-Bonsu, apparently to subdue and charm him into a moron, known in local parlance as 'gyimi-gyimi'.

This is happening at a time when Parliament is almost evenly divided between the Majority and Minority caucuses and every effort is being made to subdue political opponents in the Legislature.

A parliamentary staff disclosed to DAILY GUIDE that a group of 'mallams' and people believed to be occult grand-masters were seen spraying a sweet-scented substance and murmuring some strange-sounding incantations in the main Chamber of the House during the late hours of Tuesday January 6, 2009.

Indeed, on the next day when Hon Kyei Mensah-Bonsu took his seat in the Chamber, he felt uneasy in the chair and immediately drew the attention of the House to the fact that he suspected there was something amiss about the seat.

The Minority Leader, over the days, kept complaining that he felt very uneasy anytime he used the chair and eventually the Estate Officer of the House agreed to replace it.

During the replacement, it was detected that the chair had been badly tampered with and the black-coated iron part that joins the seat to the stand, removed and replaced with a very bright sparkling lead.

The cover cloth beneath the chair had also been removed and replaced, but sown with a needle and thread, giving it a completely different look.

An inspection of the chairs in the Chamber revealed that only Hon. Kyei Mensah-Bonsu's chair had this strange metal fixed beneath it.

The development sparked controversy as it was explained to the Minority Leader that lead is a very potent material for juju and that it is used in subduing people into docility and imbecility.

Experts who examined the chair say it would have taken a minimum of three days to complete the type of tampering that had been done on the chair.

When DAILY GUIDE contacted the Minority Leader, he confirmed the story and said he was shocked to realise that the chair in his office has also been tampered with in the same manner.

"It is strange; I do not believe in juju but it is strange that the chair in my office had also been tampered with and the under-part replaced with lead. This could not have been done overnight and we need to know who did it and why; it cannot be for fun and the reason is what we need to be told," Hon Kyei Mensah-Bonsu added.

The Minority Leader said there was a time he and others wanted to enter the Chamber to have a look at the chair but the Marshall said he could not find the keys to the Chamber and for about 40 minutes, he was not able to produce the keys.

The Minority Leader said it was later found out that the Chamber had not been locked and the keys to the place were found lying in a corner somewhere instead of being in the custody of the Marshall and security.

Interestingly, though Hon Kyei Mensah-Bonsu said he did not believe in juju, he had stopped sitting on the chair in his office.

DAILY GUIDE observed that the said chair had been pushed to a corner in the Minority Leader's office and left there like a dreaded deity.

Indeed, Osei Kyei Mensah-Bonsu had gone in for a smaller and less comfortable one and was seen perching on it with a worried look on his face.

This paper gathered that he had been suffering from an acute running stomach since he started using the chair.

The Minority Leader said there was a time he found a boiled egg fitted with feathers and needles and he drew the attention of a few people to the unusual spectacle who said they would burn it, so he forgot about the whole thing.

Jones Kugblenu, Director of Public Affairs at Parliament told DAILY GUIDE he was aware that the Minority Leader had complained about his chair and that an attempt to replace it was underway.

He said he had no information that there was a time the Marshall said he could not find the keys to the Chamber, but promised to find out and get back to the paper.