The next day I went to see my best friend and lawyer. I asked him about divorces and how they affected finances and assets. He walked me through matrimonial actions.

Essentially, if I divorced her, my wife would get as much as half to keep her in the lifestyle to which she had become accustomed while married to me. Utter bollocks. He asked if everything was ok, I told him it was research for a new book. The protagonist was in a messy divorce and needed to figure out a legal way to leave his wife with nothing. He was intrigued.

He called me the next day. He’d found a way. It was complicated but it could work. The rules only apply to property or funds acquired during marriage. If the protagonist found a way to transfer it all to some trusted third party before the proceedings begun then there would be nothing for the Court to give her. He could always get it back afterwards. I mulled it around in my head for almost a month.

I called him and told him what I came up with. He said I was a bloody genius then made a few changes so it would be perfectly legal. I asked him to draft a sample for me and charge me for the work. He didn’t want to till I pointed out that the book might make millions. What are friends for?

By now, our circle of friends was abuzz with the news that a new novel was in the works. Our circle of friends which included my wife’s lover and his wife who fortunately for me was a die-hard fan.

Whenever we were at an event together, she would ask how the book was coming along, at first I would hedge and refuse to divulge any information then I began to feed her tidbits. Enough to make her look forward to our next meeting.

Six months after I caught my wife shagging her best friend, I bought my wife the new iPhone. It was customary. A new phone here, a new car there, diamonds and pearls every other month. This was different. I had installed Google Latitude on the device and connected it to mine before handing it to her. I now knew everywhere the phone went and she was like a teenager with her phone, she never put it down.

For the next few months, I watched my wife diligently, electronically. Every Wednesday, she spent the afternoon at her lover’s house. Convenient. He ran a small web design firm out of his home. His wife was the money in the family. Some of the time, late on Fridays, she’d drive into odd addresses on the outskirts of Abuja, Bwari and Zuba predominantly. I had them checked out, Hotels.

The first time I left for the weekend, she stayed home. I told her my story was based in Lagos and I needed to be in the metropolis for inspiration. She tried to talk me out of it but drove me to the airport.

I waited 15mins after passing airport security then got a Taxi to take me to Sheraton in Wuse. Her phone was in the house all weekend but he could have come over for all I knew. The business class ticket had cost me N30,000, the first of many.

I started to ‘visit Lagos’ every other week. Sometimes I would actually go for a day and take enough pictures for 2 or 3 and return to Abuja. It wasn’t till the 7th weekend that I made my move. I called her on Sunday morning. I didn’t let her talk, she didn’t try.

I told her I was in a cab on my way home, I was sure she was in church so I didn’t ask her to come pick me. I had missed her loads. I was 2 houses away. His black Honda Accord sped past in less than 5 minutes...

Episode 3 will be published tomorrow