Let me talk to the married men kakra. Those who are divorced or single should take theirs from this and keep the rest for future use. Ladies, share either on your walls or in your various groups so that as many men can read this.

Listen my men, no self respecting man will do some of the things a lot of you men do to your women. Self-respect is defined as a pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is BEHAVING with HONOUR and DIGNITY.

A man who respects himself, the name he carries, the family he's from and those he associates with will be careful when it comes to things which will bring disgrace to both himself and his family.

Why should a man who knows his worth cheat on his wife knowing full well the issues which will come out should he be caught? If you're a polygamist, why not inform your wife from the very beginning of the relationship and if she says she cannot let her go? Why call yourself a polygamist in secret and cheat and cheat again? Those who annoy me koraa are the ones who bash cheating men in the open while doing same in secret.

Some of you don't care how your wives feel about the things you do.

You claim to love her but why would you do something which you know will definitely hurt her? That's disrespectful. Just as you should respect yourself, you should respect the woman who decided to build her life with you and no other man. You should adore the woman who didn't embarrass you by saying "no" when you asked her in front of a crowd in church or in her home to marry you. You should respect her because she's gone through or will go through pain at the probable loss of her life to give birth to your children!

How can a man who respects himself and believes he's a man capable of taming his emotions physically abuse his wife? It's little boys who throw tantrums and hit their mothers when they can't have their way. Their mothers mostly ignore them or push them at arm's length but as a grown up man, this is not your mother, this is your wife and she can't ignore every blow you lay on her or push you away. If you respect yourself and feel that you deserve to be called a man then why hit her?

When you marry know that that is your choice. You selected her from among the other women and now you're married. Forget whatever reasons that made you decide to marry her, she's your wife now. If you regret marrying her now then it means you weren't thinking straight. Someone who isn't thinking straight needs counseling so before you make a mistake, seek counseling.

Stop lying to other women just to get laid.

Stop lying about your wife to other women just to get some bed action.

Even if it's true about some of the things she does, it's her family you should talk to and not strangers you've decided to give your penis to like a baby who goes round touching strangers while his mother is looking for him. A lot of you men if you could use the same words, gifts, actions, trips, calls, sweet texts and so on you use on side chicks on your wives, you'd have wonderful marriages.

Stop making excuses for why you'll want to mistreat your wife.

Stop being in groups which give you the perfect outlet to indulge in extra marital affairs or be violent towards your wife (I've heard of an all-male group which discusses types of wife abuse and how to go about it. It's horrifying that self-respecting men will want to be part of it)

Listen, years from now, 5, 10, 20, 30, you're going to rehash all the things you're doing now. Will you regret them or will you be satisfied about them?

Your marriage is dependent on how you treat your wife today. Your kids' future marriage successes are dependent on how you treat their mums today. When you respect yourself and treat your wives respectfully, your kids will respect both of you, respect themselves and respect their future spouses.

So let me ask you a final question, can you confidently and with pride say that you lead an honourable and dignified life at home like you portray on Social Media?

Abena Magis ~ Manokekame