There’s a popular saying that goes: ’Women say they love the little things in life till you hand them a small penis’’ Hahaha

Have you ever met a man and fallen head over heels, gone through the chat and the tickles and the sweet nothings and ended up falling so in love with him and then on the day the relationship finally gets intimate, the size of his dick simply breaks your heart so bad you do not ever want to get in that bed again with him? Like when I was in bed with Ato a few months ago.

After wasted several months of dating, I was so hurt I could not tell him to his face till a few days after. I just sent him a curt text saying I would like us to remain friends without the intimacies because honestly, it did not happen for me. Ashi mi rough. Na saa small something yi di3 ye di ye den? Mtcheeew! And to think that I like him so much.

Heavens! If you are not a woman you will not understand the gravity of this dilemma. It is a huge problem. There before you is a man who is gorgeous, polite, sweet, caring, confident, successful, tall, dark chocolate goodness that makes your heart screech like a train on the loose. You love him passionately but his doggone penis is small!!

What are you going to do? Many men with small dicks who are not confident about themselves will come and play some silly psychology here saying the size of a man’s dick depends on the size of a woman’s vagine. Indeed! Honey, my ‘vagine’ is tighter than rusted joints. You cannot move it till you oil it but listen, I want a dick that makes me gasp, a dick that makes me feel my ‘vagine’ being stretched inside.

Do you understand? I want to feel you thrust against my walls. I want to get a sweet girly and giggly rush when I look in your face like ‘’Boy, you bad!’’ When I see you after we have been intimate, I want to be able to salute like ‘’Hey Pappi’’ and I want you to be able to grab my ass and say ‘’Whose your daddy huh?’’ with the meanest look and imma say ‘’yea! You are’’

So when I posted a picture of this fine brother I have been digging in my whatsapp group, this man who I have been planning to fuck the socks off of this Christmas, I was well devastated when Shayna said ‘’This your man looks like his dick will be really small’’

What!! I was planning on ditching him already just from that little statement. How did she know? And Shayna is usually right. We call her the chief penis officer because she can tell such things. No kidding.

Shayna can look at a man and say to me his dick will be little and truly when we investigate, we will find a fucking little dick! Now I am not about that bullshit life of getting in a man’s bed, seeing the dick and not being able to run from it.

I am very picky about my banging sessions and they are far apart so if finding out a man’s dick size means going in his bed to be sure, I cannot deal with it. No! So I asked Shay to teach me a few tricks. Besides the clichéd ones like the size of his feet which is almost always wrong.

You will see a man with huge feet coming in your face with some tiny dick it is friggin bore I tell ya. She said check his nails! The very top of his finger, at his nail bed. Is it wide? Or narrow or small? That is a sure banker way to tell. If that nail bed is wide, girl, you have struck the golden dick!

That is the surest way that is never wrong. Even if his fingers are short and stubby but that nail must be wide to hit platinum sized dick. And if it’s not wide, Me Purple tussle, I do not care about anything else. Hahaha! Also a thing about short men, hihi, apparently all the height they are lacking has to go somewhere so it gets in the dick baby!

So next time you feeling the moves with a short man, don’t fight the feeling. So ladies, are there other ways of determining a man’s dick size? Tell me please because it is important that I know! Important to the sentimental equilibrium of my vagine!