Being part of a committed relationship can give you a good feeling. It can provide a sense of comfort, caring, and acceptance. However, sometimes as the relationship starts getting more serious, your partner may start to act cold and distant.

It seems that as soon as the feelings start to get stronger, your significant other begins to pull back emotionally, or worse — he or she disappears for days at a time and doesn’t return phone calls.

Once contact is finally made, your partner acts as if nothing unusual happened. There’s a never-ending push-pull cycle, and you can’t seem to get to a place where you feel completely secure in the relationship.

There could be a few reasons why you’re getting a bit of the cold shoulder, but one reason could be that your significant other isfearful of committing to you. Here are a few signs your partner has commitment issues.

1. Whenever your partner talks about the future, you’re not mentioned

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. Sometimes listening to what your partner says, or how your partner says it, can give you glimpse into the recesses of his or her mind. One’s true feelings often seep out if you pay close attention.

If most of your partner’s sentences start with “I” instead of “we,” when talking about future plans, you may have a problem. This is especially true if you’ve been dating for a while. The lack of “we” talk is a signal your partner may not be thinking long term. You could merely be a stop along the way or just a fun distraction.

2. Your partner still acts single

Does your partner go out for a night on the town without you or fail to introduce you when bumping into someone he or she knows? Either your partner is cheating on you or you’re just not as important as you originally thought (or both).

If your partner ignores you most of the time or fails to acknowledge your existence when around friends or acquaintances, your shelf life may soon be coming to an end. If your significant other doesn’t seem eager to show you off and acts like it’s a chore to even acknowledge you, it’s clearly time to talk.

3. Your partner avoids talking about the relationship

There comes a point in most relationships when couples usually have a talk about where the relationship is headed. If you keep getting shut down whenever the topic comes up, your significant other may be getting cold feet in the commitment department. A partner who is happy to be with you and excited about moving to the next level won’t look for excuses to change the topic.

4. Your partner withdraws affection

If your partner is usually sweet, loving, and affectionate, but withdraws affection as soon as the relationship begins to deepen, you most likely have a commitment-phobe on your hands. Running hot and cold could indicate your partner is uncomfortable getting too close.

If you really want to make things work and you see a future with your partner, you may want to consider getting couples therapy, so you can get down to the root of the problem. But if you don’t have the time, energy, desire, or the money, it’s best to cut your losses and find a person who can love you the way you deserve to be loved.