It’s hard to say this but the truth is many people, both married and singles, are not in love. They are rather in trade. If you think I am lying, why don't you answer this simple question "What makes you think you love your partner?". It’s either how they make you feel or what they do for you. And in fact that's what holds the relationship. Such a relationship is conditional and bound to end when these conditions are no more available.

People are doing things, saying words just to win company, affection and attention. People are super nice from the beginning, giving what they don't have and don't mind crossing the widest river for you, all in the name of love and in an exchange for marriage, relationship, sex or money.

It’s all about impressions, we lift people high to fall for us and in the process of falling, they term the feeling they get as love; but confusion sets in when these feelings start fading, when it becomes on and off.

If truly "Love never comes to an end" as 1 Corinthians 13:8 (NLV) puts it, then I suggest to you that what people fall for these days is not love but rather infatuation. People these days are married to infatuation. At the beginning they claim this is my perfect match then the next moment, they think they got married to the wrong person.

Is love all about how someone makes you feel? Then love can be associated with what they did for you or made you feel. So to some, love could only be about money, if you can spend on me more than anyone ever did, then I am in love with you and it also means you love me.

To some, it is how you touch me. How you move your hand around me is what drives me crazy. In fact, nobody has turned me on in this way before and this is what speaks love to me. To some it is the words you speak to me; you say the right kind of words I want to hear. These words have the power to make me feel in a way I have never felt before.

Today many people are in love with the things and feelings they are getting, not with personalities or souls. For them it is what you do for me or give me that defines our love; as soon as I am not getting those things, the relationship is over. These are the reasons why many marriages these days don’t last. Even dating lasts longer than a lot of marriages.

To love is about serving, it’s how you touch someone’s life, how you put smiles on someone’s face, how you leave your name in someone’s heart and not the other way round. Finding someone and serving them without getting tired is what defines love. Sometimes I laugh when young people say I love him just because he makes me happy. To them, loving is all about themselves and not about the one they claim to love. True love is giving someone without thinking of what you get in return. This is why Jesus Christ could die for people who hated Him. This is why God asks us to pray for our enemies.

You don’t have to feel something for someone before you sacrifice for them. If that was the case the bible won't say in Matthew 5:44 (NLV) that "But I tell you, love those who hate you. (*Respect and give thanks for those who say bad things to you. Do good to those who hate you.) Pray for those who do bad things to you and who make it hard for you".

Just think about how marriages will be if we will learn to love instead of trading emotions, deeds and words?

In conclusion don’t marry because you are lonely; but before you agree to love or marry someone, make sure you are ready and fully understand what love is. Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

For feedback, counseling, speaking engagement, to sponsor, partner or join our family, call or WhatsApp +233 20 677 4279.

LIKE MY PAGE: www.facebook.com/counseloradofoli VISIT MY WEBSITE for more inspiring messages, counseloradofoli.com