Entertainment of Saturday, 9 July 2016

Source: tango.com

Lifestyle: Why women who obsess over men lose their relationships

Fighting couple.    File photo. Fighting couple. File photo.

Chill out.

There’s something about dating that makes us all a little insane.

On one hand, we’re intoxicated with new romance and annoying basically everyone around us with our giddiness and heart eyes. And on the other hand, we’re slightly freaking out because for the first time (in maybe a long time) we actually have something to lose.

Finding someone we really like who actually likes us back is so rare that we become understandably possessive. Everything is great and perfect right now, and you don’t want anybody to mess it up.

And controlling everything you can to keep the budding relationship in a perfect little bubble is exactly what’s going to mess it up.

The more you try to control a situation, the more out of control you’ll feel. It’s science, I think.

As charming as you may be, you have no say in how other people feel or what they really want. You can hope and pray that the guy you’re dating wants the same long-term monogamy as you, but you can’t do anything to force it — if you want a real, authentic relationship.

This means you can’t freak out if he’s not texting you back right away. You can’t give him an ultimatum when you’re feeling ignored. You can’t used little mind games to get him to love you. Doing anything manipulative might get you what you want right now, but it will never sustain itself in the long run.

So if you’re staring at your phone every five seconds and starting to feel like this guy is your whole effin’ world, then take a moment to chill.

Stop everything you’re doing, turn off your phone and find something fun and relaxing to distract your mind. Getting too crazy over someone too quickly is a an easy way to get your heartbroken and your feelings hurt.

Dating is scary because it can shake your confidence and make you lose your sense of self. Rejection erases almost any semblance of that bad bitch attitude you were rockin’ before so effortlessly before.

Don’t let a relationship that hasn’t even become official yet mess with your personal vibe.

Your happiness is your job and your job only, Make sure you’re doing everything you can to protect it.