Dear GhanaWeb,

I dated this guy for 7 years. In our 3rd year, he gave me a promise ring; no conversation about marriage or anything of the sort again. We were both financially independent and had our lives together, so, I didn’t understand why he seemed unperturbed. When I raised conversations about it, he would throw it away and tell me to relax. Then I decided to restrategise before he makes me 'lord of the rings.' Let me state that I had already caught him cheating twice and the second time, he told me cheating can only be classified and considered during marriage and that it doesn’t count in relationships.

One time, I went for lunch in a restaurant alone. I wanted fufu, so, I decided to grind pepper and some spices in an earthenware pot before placing my order. This nice guy walks to me and said he’d badly want some of the grinded spices but he’s bad at grinding. He added that mostly, he comes with his colleague who does it but the person didn’t report to work that day so he’d appreciate if I could give him some. I said no problem and grinded in two separate pots. We both went for our order and sat on the same table to eat. Throughout the lunch, we talked and laughed.

He offered to pay but I refused and paid for my food. He couldn’t give me lift as well because I also drove there, so, eventually, we just had to exchange contacts. We started texting and soon, we were going to lunch together. I also met his colleague he normally goes to lunch with and became lunch buddies because our offices were closer to each other. Conversations with him flowed naturally and wasn’t forced. He also had so much to say and had something to say every time.

His communication skills was top tier and sometimes I was found wanting. We became friends and started getting close, then he invited me to his birthday dinner and I went. It was fun and surprisingly, all his friends kept giving me preferential treatment. They made sure I was comfortable, then his friend who I know as a lunch buddy came to me and told me his friend likes me but was too shy to tell me. However, he had told all his friends about me and they had advised him to tell me but he still couldn't seem to tell me. This friend wanted me to help by giving him the green light.

I laughed because I thought he was joking. He went to call three other friends and they told me the same thing. I ended up promising them I’d let him come out. After the party, I told him I had no plans of going home that early and wanted to spend some time at the beach. He decided to join me and went to the beach. We spoke for some time and I asked the bold question if he liked me. He told me he did and didn’t know how to tell me. At that instant, I wanted to tell him I was in a relationship myself but I remembered what my boyfriend said that cheating doesn’t count in dating periods except marriage, so, I shut my mouth.

I told him he strikes me as an interesting person but I’d have to think about it before giving an answer and he said no problem. We talked more and he dropped me home. I spent the week thinking and decided to give this new guy a chance. Transitioning from friends to partners was so smooth and not so weird like I thought it’d be. It was so easy to date him. He planned dates, buys gift, schedules appointments, and constantly talks to me. Reciprocating the gestures didn’t make me feel like I was desperately wanting to be loved.

He loved his quality time with me and I also enjoyed it. We had so many dates. We didn’t need to plan and it could be everywhere. By our seventh month, he had introduced me to his parents and even took me to his village to see his grandmother. She blessed me and gave me lots of foodstuffs to return home. Now, it was left with me to introduce him to my people. They already knew my old guy, so, coming with the new guy was going to look someway. I had the boldness and had the conversation with my mum. I was glad she paid attention to everything I said and asked the right questions.

I finally took him home and my mum and dad kept laughing and laughing. My mum pulled me aside and told me to end anything I had going on with my old guy because she likes this one. After a lengthy conversation, my dad told me he was giving me 2 days to end the relationship with one. I went to my old guy’s place the next day and ended things. He couldn’t handle it, so, he was using my friends to get to me. One of my friends told my old guy about my new guy and even showed him his workplace. This guy went to confront him and this almost caused my relationship. I had to do confessions and apologies. I thought I had lost my new guy but my parents stepped in for me and eventually, it was restored. His family came for my list and we’ve done the knocking already.

By February next year, I’d be a married woman to the absolute love of my life. For my old guy, he wanted to pull some stunts, but my man issued a restraining order against him. But still, my old guy seems not to give up and threatened that he won’t make me succeed in marrying my man, and that he will destroy my wedding. I’m so scared and I don’t know what to do. How should I handle this?