Dear GhanaWeb,

Before I got married, I had 3 girlfriends and liked each of them for various reasons. I thought of getting married in December 2022. Since I had 3 girlfriends, I couldn’t marry the 3 of them, so, I had to choose one of them. One day, I took each of them out to different venues and told them about my plans. Girlfriend 1 said she didn’t think I was ready because I didn’t really have anything because she was the one supporting me most of the time. She knew my job wasn’t paying well and so, I told her I understood her although that was what I wanted. She insisted she wasn't ready and that we should give it some time.

Girlfriend 2 said I liked joking so we should go home and have sex if that’s what I wanted and so I could not continue the conversation with her.

Girlfriend 3 asked me why I want to marry in 2022, which was in 2 years time because that year was 2020, and that what did I have for marriage because she didn't think she was ready. She added that she didn't think either of us was ready to make such a move. I told her that’s what I wanted and she said okay.

In September, which is my birth month, I took all out again on date and reminded them that I’m still serious about the marriage thing. Girlfriend 1 said she didn't want to hear that anymore, and that we should just have fun. Girlfriend 2 said she didn't want to marry me. Girlfriend 3 asked what at all I had heard about marriage that was pushing me into it. She added that moreover, it was only 3 months to December and so how were we going to plan marriage like that. I told her I don’t want any flashy marriage, and that we should just sign in court and have a family time. She said that’s not what she wanted but she would think about it.

In the last week of November, I called them again for a date, by which time they knew it has become a norm for me to raise that subject for discussion.

Girlfriend 1 said she won’t come out if it was about my marriage thing, and that I could go ahead to marry whoever I wanted to.

Girlfriend 2 said she was tired of my nonsense, and so she also said that I should go ahead and marry whoever I wanted.

Girlfriend 3 told me to come over to her house so we talk to her parents because she was confused and I said okay. She was surprised I said okay and she told me she said that to see if it would scare me but unfortunately, I didn’t want to change my mind about the marriage.

Fast forward, I told her I still wanted to come see her parents and that I had already told my parents (dad and siblings) about my marriage plans. I lost my mum earlier that year. So, we went back and forth and she accepted to marry me because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and no one else. All this while, I hadn’t heard from my other girlfriends.

I happily got married on December 31, 2022, to Girlfriend 3 (wife now). I spent GH¢3000 on my wedding. I didn’t want a big wedding, besides her family said they will pay for everything on the traditional wedding list, which they did. They even paid for the food and drinks. My family paid for the Sunday wedding, my suit and what my boys will wear. It was a good and memorable day.

Now on the 5th of January, I received a call from Girlfriend 1 saying that she could not believe that I had really gotten married as I said and that I had broken her heart. I didn’t pay much attention to her, because I was serious when I told her. Girlfriend 2 also called 3 days after, saying a similar thing, and then asked me where I got the money from to do all that. All I told her was, “God did.”

My marriage and my wife brought a lot of blessings into my life. In February, my wife received an email from a company in UK saying she had been employed for an application she sent 2 years ago. She needed to go to the UK and I saw my wife genuinely happy. She was asked to start work in first week in April and she told them she just got married so she would like to go with me. They told her that might take some time because we needed to apply for a spousal visa. The problem here was that she wasn’t a UK citizen and hadn’t stayed in the country for long, so, I would just have to come for a visit till we get to do the spousal visa.

We agreed and she left in March. In July, I visited her for 6 months and came back to Ghana in December. Now, I received a message from Girlfriend 1 saying she wanted to tell me something. Both of my exes kept saying I’d betrayed them and broke their hearts just because I married another woman. I do hear from them once in a while. After I met Girlfriend 1, she said she had a baby in 2023, the baby is almost 1 and a half years now, so, the child is mine.

The last time I had sex with her was 2022 August and I can do a DNA test to confirm. I told her I’m not the father of the child but she insisted it’s mine. I told her I wouldn’t want to have a child elsewhere aside with my wife, so, I couldn’t accept this. My question is, what should I do if it’s mine? Or could she be telling me lies just to bring problems into my marriage? How do I deal with my supportive wife should this turn out to be true?

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