Somewhere along the line, a man proposed to me and I accepted. Everything about the man showed he might be married but because he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, I assumed he was not. He was older than I was—in his mid-fifties. After a couple of months or so, he started talking about his wife. Well, I wasn’t surprised. I asked him, “I thought you were not married?” He answered, “I thought you knew I was married?” We had an extensive conversation about it and in the end, agreed to carry on with our affair.

He’s someone you could call rich. That means, he had something I didn’t have—money. He didn’t let me lack anything. I only had to ask him and he provided. When my rent was due and needed money, he was the one who provided. He paid my school fees and gave me pocket money. He wasn’t someone who was all over me dictating the pace of my life. He came around seldomly. He called only when he wanted to see me and told me not to call him after 5pm.

We had beautiful times together until all of a sudden he started withdrawing from me. He wouldn’t give any other reason apart from being busy. “Well, big men get busy sometimes and there’s nothing you can do about it,” I assured myself. It started getting worrying. For a whole month, he didn’t call nor text. I tried getting to him but all my calls went unanswered. One night, he came to my place unannounced. He looked happy to see me and I was relieved to know everything was alright with him. He ate. He washed down and relaxed for a while. I asked him, “So what took you away? At a point, I thought I’ve done something wrong.” He said, “Married life is like that. Sometimes the madam starts getting hints of your awkward ways so you have to lay low until she drops her guard again.”

He told me about how his wife read our messages and concluded that there was something going on between us. He told me about the fight that ensued and the need to lay low for some time. I asked him, “So, you think she’s no longer suspecting you?” He said, “She’s always suspecting me but the most important thing is, she’s no longer on guard as she used to be.” He stayed with me until it was late before going home.

Three days later a number called me. He said my package was with him and he would like to know where to deliver it. I sent him my location and he said, “Give me an hour.” Less than an hour later, he called again; “Is the main gate to your house painted black?” I said, “Naaa, come to the next gate after the black one.” A few minutes later, there was a knock at the gate. I opened the gate with a smile, expecting to see the delivery guy, only to be greeted by a woman who looked very familiar. She stood at the gate with another guy next to her. She said, “My name is Ellis and I know you are Kuukua. Can we talk?”

He asked the guy to wait outside while we sit inside and talk. She asked, “You know me?” I said, “You look familiar.” She said, “You know Robert right? He’s my husband.” My heart started racing. My mind started thinking of horrible things—things like acid on my face or being murdered and thrown away. She said, “Don’t worry. Robert knows I’m here.” Then she started talking…

“Robert looks like a man but in my eyes, he’s a boy who’s so bad at keeping secrets. I know him too well. I’ve lived the last twenty-eight years of my life with him. He only had a dream when we met. I am the reason he’s living that dream. I won’t talk too much but if you love your future stay away from him. Look for someone else you could build a future with and start now.”

Right there she picked her phone and called her husband on a loudspeaker. She said, “Kuukua is here, would you like to talk to her.” He started stuttering; “So you won’t stop embarrassing me? I told you she’s only a girl I’m helping. Why would you go to that extent? You should be ashamed of yourself.” She burst out laughing; “Me and you who should be ashamed? I’ve told you wherever you go I’ll catch you. Wicked old man, play with your size.”

She left my house without saying goodbye. When she stepped out, I followed her until I saw the back of her. My heart couldn’t stop beating faster. I thought I was going to drop dead at any moment. Robert Called later to apologize. I said, “No problem. Your wife is a good person.” He said, “What did she tell you? That I didn’t have anything when I met her? That she was responsible for my growth? I know she will tell you all that because that’s what she tells everyone.”

“That’s what she tells everyone..” Meaning this isn’t the first time you’ve been caught?” He laughed it off but I knew better. From that day on, I learned to stay in my lane and spent what I have. I learned what it means to be content. I fell for my size but those who came along weren’t truthful. They didn’t come with a dream I could support. Their dream was to get sex and vanish. Silly people. But through it all, I’ve learned to be patient and wait for what’s mine.

—Kuukua