We felt obliged to share this Rockies International School [Tantra-Hill] story because it is as far as we are concerned it is a microcosm of the Ghanaian child in particular and children of the universe in general.

We sought information among 226 pupils between the ages of 10 and 12 years, on issues that border on their mental health, in September 2022. Given the sensitive nature of questions and responses we did not require that they identify themselves in their response.

We however had our way of finding out who said what when some touchy issues are raised and needed urgent intervention. Indeed we successfully dealt with any such issue, glory be to Almighty God.

Mental health as defined by WordWeb dictionary is, "The psychological state of someone who is functioning at a satisfactory level of emotional and behavioural adjustment."

Education is predominantly a mental thing. Therefore as part of the preparatory stages for the acquisition of education, mental health must be core. Those children who are given the needed support –beyond payment of fees and provision of other material needs – emotionally and psychologically excel in school than their counterparts who do not get it.

Of course, there are exceptions in every situation but for the most part, it is the case. In Latin, they say: ‘mens sana in corpore sano’ to wit ‘A healthy mind in a healthy body’.

In this day and age, we use data to drive action. So issues are dealt with in a specific and targeted way to extract maximum benefits for all parties involved. Note the demography of the parents in terms of income is middle to high-income earners.

It could be worse among low-income earners and deprived communities.

Question: How often do you interact with your parents/guardians? EVERYDAY / SOMETIMES / NEVER

Response: EVERYDAY 61% SOMETIMES 36% NEVER 3%

The stats above imply 4 out every 10 pupils do not get to interact with their parents/guardians on regular bases.

A major reason why most parents are unavailable to engage the family is busy at or with work. True as that maybe, the upbringing of your child(ren) can not play second fiddle to anything you do. At worse it should be at par to other engagement you have.

As matter of fact if you draw a plan which factors them in and consciously follow it. All have you on the plate can be dealt with seemlessly. If you want to have time to spend on the family, it will remain illusive, make time to achieve it.

Some are also not able to get time to engage family because of social activities and entertainment. Once you begin to have children agenda and priorities must change to reflect your realities. If football games, drink outs for fathers and soap operas, parties etc for mothers is getting in the way quality time with child(ren).

They must be cast aside until they come of age. We shall be answerable to our Maker for how we guide and protect the gems He blessed us with.

Those who are engaging with their family everyday are more likely to get a better outcomes than those who do it sometimes or not at all. The ‘sometimes category’ could also be once in a long while, which is problematic given the numerous challenges our young ones are confronted with these days. They are subject of a lot of attacks spiritual and physical - which includes peer pressure, adult bullying, system manipulation and so on.

Due to the above mentioned issues and more, it is unacceptable to have children say they don't get engaged ever. If parents are unavailable due to circumstances beyond their control, provision should be made for a foster parent to take up this indispensable duty.

Question : Do you have electronic gadgets? YES / NO. If Yes, specify ___________________

Response : YES 72% NO 28%

Impliedly 7 out of every 10 children had electronic gagdets.

The statistics for availability of electronic gadgets for the children was compelling. Looking at the numbers for the possession of electronic gadgets and direct parents engagement, there is a sense that some are buying them these gadgets to make up for the absence.

The question that then arises is, how securitized are the gadgets? Some of the gadgets, especially, those that are internet connection ones open them up to enormous dangers. They are a target of sexualization, gambling (sports betting) and violence and drugs abuse. Gone are the days when all you need to do was to get a hold on the movement and friendship circle to protect your child(ren). The child may be around you but because of access to these gagdets, they may actually be globe-trotting with unscrupulous people. This typifies the Akan proverb ‘wuo da danmu nsu wu nnan gu abontin to wit, You’ve slept in the room but your feet are outside.’ Meaning you have to double check once you have handed these gagdets to you child.

There is also the issue addiction to the gadgets, this affects their school work in no small way. Inadequate time for study, inability to complete assignments, late night sleep and its consequences on school work - late attendance, fatigue during the days lessons.

They could also sneak them to school without permission either from you or school authorities, by so doing they could play with it during lessons, copy answers online for work they are actually supposed to task their minds to solve the list is endless. There is no gain saying that these adversely affect their performance.

Granted they need these gadgets to do assignments etc it has to be regulated to get the most out of them. Leaving it to them entirely to manage will cause more harm than good to them. The social media platforms are a mine field for all manner of vices guide him/her to keep them safe.

Buying the phone, laptop or tablet for the child without guidance and/or supervision is akin to giving them a loaded gun and asking them to explore. It is that fatal, my dear parent and/or guardian don't endanger them this way, please.

Question: Are you happy in life? YES / NO. If No, why______________________________

Response : YES 96% NO 4%

Much as the result of response was heart-warming we had mixed fixed feeling because of the 4% of the children who clearly stated they were not happy in life. Fortunately, the questionnaire probed further, below were their Reasons for responding NO.

• Life is hard

• I feel like I am useless

• They like bullying me

• I am not able to learn on my own

• I don’t see my parents every day because of their work

• I am always bullied

• Blamed for stealing or doing something bad in the house

No matter hard things are for you, your language to your child must be measured and assuring. Lamentations and complains to them about how hard things are for you actually dampens their spirit it is too early for them to start feeling melancholic about life.

You owe it a responsibility to shield them from such a situation. You can be realistic and inspiring at the same time.

There is need for blend of sympathy and empathy, as Fredrick Douglass once said, ‘It is easier to build strong children than fix broken men.’ You can’t build when you are in a constant battle. So is the case for everybody else including your child. Keep the child out of your battles, be it relationship with spouse, workplace and so on.

All the water in the oceans of the world cannot drown a ship unless it enters it, likewise all the negativity in the world can’t get to you until you allow it into your psyche.

Name-calling, insults and beating are not the way, to HELP your child OUT of a vice s/he has acquired. Note it is HELP they need get out of the challenge – of stealing, laziness, promiscuity - not scathing attacks, that often times exacerbate the challenge.

Better safe than sorry, no extreme – laissez-faire and belligerence - is helpful to your child, moderation and prayers.

At a later date, barring unforeseen circumstances, we shall share results and perspectives of a similar survey for students between 13 and 15 year olds.

Rayhann Shaban
Parent–Child Relationship Coach
Lead Education
Advocate Development Networks [ADN]
rayhannshaban@hotmail.com
0243414669/0200225235