Opinions of Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Columnist: Yeboah, Kwame

A trip down memory lane with Angel Obinim

Bishop Daniel ObinimBishop Daniel Obinim

As a matter of public record, let me state that the purpose of this article is not to malign or disrespect Bishop Obinim. I don't think he is a true man of God, neither do I think he is a fake.

I don't attend his church, I will not advise any of my friends or family to attend his church. But again, I don't hold anything against those who attend his church; it must be noted. Mathew 7:1 “ judge not that ye not be judged” and I intend not to do so, so the good Lord doesn't judge me.

Let me also state that I do not in anyway envy Bishop Obinim, although I must admit there is a lot about him to be envious of; the guy is the only surviving angel on earth, has a pretty wife, drives fancy cars, wears fashionable cloths, runs errands with Jesus himself at night, and even more remarkably can turn into any kind of animal at the snap of a finger.

Even though according to Bishop Obinim, he has been into ministry for well over 20 years; his name however became a household name some time around 2011, when news about him sleeping with the wife of one of his junior pastors hijacked the airwaves.

It all started when Bishop Obinim having become increasingly disappointed and frustrated with the quality of service and most importantly the quality of product his wife was offering him in the bedroom, decided that it was time to review his options. The process to find a new ‘service provider’ was instigated in earnest.

Considering how desperate the situation was, the good Bishop thought it would be wise to promote someone in-house to occupy the vacant position. The lucky one was a lady by the name Gifty Fobi, who as fate will have it happened to be the wife of one of the junior pastors. It didn't take too long for the new mistress to sweep Bishop Obinim off his feet.

In an alleged recorded phone conversation, he admitted to his mistress that he enjoys having sex with her because she was more sexually appealing compared to his wife. He went further to state that since he started having sex with her its been difficult for him to enjoy sex with his wife. Appalling right?

Well not for the man of God. In an interview on the Delay Show, Obinim mentioned that sleeping with the wife of his junior pastor wasn't a bad thing after all. According to him, prior to the sex incident, his congregation thought he wasn't human, this predicament was however a reminder to them that he was human after all and not an Angel. Yes, just a man with testicles that need to be emptied every now and then.

Not too long after this disgraceful sex incident, Bishop Obinim together with his bunch of thugs ( he calls them junior pastors) stormed the premises of Hot Fm; they breached the security gate, walked straight into the studios, interrupted a live program and demanded the head of whoever has been insulting the Bishop on air. Afraid for their lives, both radio host and his panelist decided to plead the 5th.

Unsatisfied with the silent treatment he got, he proceeded to vent his spleen on the equipments in the studios. Tearing things apart with his bare hands and the ones he couldn't break with his hands, he had a crowbar handy to finish off the job. All this while, his able assistant vandals were busy cheering him on and waiting for the green light to extract their pound of flesh. Ones he was tired, he handed over the crowbar to one of his assistant pastors and he gleefully continued from where his boss left off.

The others looked on in envy., praying he doesn't destroy everything so they can at least also have their own turn. Anyone who tried to intervene was quickly rounded up and served a hefty cocktail of slaps and punches. Not even the security guy who most likely had a pot belly, could stop them.

The local police were called in, they managed to calm tempers somehow and escorted the Bishop and his junior pastors out of the premises. Nothing survived the wrath of the Bishop and his hoodlums, not even the picture of Jesus which hanged on the walls of the studio. Their little play in the park, left behind millions of cedis worth of damages, a few broken limbs and a very satisfied Obinim.

As was expected, the case landed in court. But unlike Jesus Christ who could not escape the charges pressed against him by the Roman Empire, Angel Obinim walked out of the courts a free man. How on earth he escaped that case unscathed still tickles my curiosity. Maybe my feelings are far fetched. This is a man who has raised people from the dead, it shouldn't be too difficult to conjure tubers of yam and herds of sheep from the heavens.

Other sickening events concerning Bishop include his well publicized, spiritual tag of war with a renowned Juju man in Kumasi. In the end the event was a no show; much to the disappointment of the unemployed masses who thronged the Jubilee park. Then came the exchange of insults between Obinim and the nationally acclaimed ‘queen of foul mouth’- Afia Schwarzenegger. Two heavy weights were bracing up for a performance of a life time.

The stage was set, internet trolls were expectant of a spectacular performance and the two did not disappoint. Obinim threw the first shots, not happy with stuff Afia had said about him on radio, he unleashed his venom on her during a live service. He called her a useless woman who is as short as a monkey. He threatened to pay her a courtesy call whiles she is asleep, and teach her some bitter lessons in the spiritual world.

Afia Schwarzenegger as expected was not going down without a fight. She called Obinim a powerless pastor who wasn't even fit to preach to her dog. She said the only thing Obinim was good at was giving oral sex. She accused Obinim of being a sexually deranged person, who drives around at the dead of night, looking for cheap prostitutes in Tema.

She recounted when one of her sisters had gone to see Obinim for counseling regarding some marital issues she was facing, according to her, counsellor Obinim asked her sister to steal from her husband and run away. She also recounted how Obinim called her on phone to ask her what color of panties she was wearing and also asked her to touch her own breast. Quite disgusting if you ask me.

Just this previous week, whiles social media addicts like myself, were getting bored out by the lack of news ( especially after Papa J had disappointingly succumbed to the advice of the 1st lady and refused to BOOM), I chanced upon another Obinim video. The new video shows Bishop Obinim busily whipping what looked like a boy and a girl with a leather belt.

The last time I saw him, he was vigorously performing a fibroid operation with his feet. My first impressions of this new video was that perhaps he was exorcising the demons that have caused as dumsor for 3 years. In which case he was whipping the wrong guys, someone needs to show him Opana’s house. After a closer look, it became apparent that my suspicions were wrong.

So what was their crime? According to Obinim, they had indulged in pre marital sex which had resulted in a pregnancy. And the two had conspired to abort the baby through an unsafe, unorthodox procedure. And how did he know that? Well, his buddy Jesus Christ tapped him on the shoulder during the service and alerted him of the abominable act. So with all the people in church who probably had sex the day before or even minutes before the service, why did Jesus pick on these kids?

Turns out the kids are adopted kids of prophet Obinim. And its common knowledge in the church that the only one who has the right to have sex with anyone in the prophet’s household is the prophet himself. How dare this little boy take what could potentially belong to the man of God? The man of God pays your fees and takes care of you, all you have to do is stay off his women in the house and that seems too much to do? You are a fool he fumed, you are a big fool he added!

This last video has divided opinions in Ghana, whiles some see it as a father disciplining his kids for doing something wrong, others consider it an abuse of the fundamental human rights of the kids. Nana Oye Lithur, gang leader of the ‘free Montie 3 movement’ has finally realized the need to protect human rights and is bent on showing Bishop Obinim where power lies.

From unfolding events, it looks certain that another Obinim court. Battle beckons. Will he be sent to the gallows this time? Or his usual bag of yams and truck load of sheep will do the trick? I cant think far, I cant think madness!

Writer's e-mail: pinsonchapta@gmail.com