Author: Sidney Laud Nii Sai Schandorf

Dear John,

How are you today and the 600+ friends of mine who you need to keep things
going at “John’s ville” also named “Flagstaff House?” Today, I woke up as usual
at about half past 4 in order to rush about so I would be early enough to take the
12 mile journey to work. Work starts at 8am so I’m sure you’re also wondering
whether I hate sleep or have a monster for a wife. Neither, Sir John!

Uncle John, truth is I’d rather sleep till 7am and make this 30 minute journey.
However the gods of traffic would not have it. Any attempts to leave around 7 will
turn this 30 minute journey into thrice its length. But how can I blame you?
Maybe I can finally congratulate you that the Adenta-Tetteh Quarshie road is
getting “completed,” whatever that means. It has neared completion many times
before.
Ah yes speaking of roads, what this I hear about you building a super-highway to
Kumasi? Oga, as my “nija” friends would say, it was some 10 years or so ago
that higher education sanctioned me to use the Kumasi road for 4 years. Oga
that road has taken over 7 years, when will the super highway start, let alone
end? Have you taken that road lately? What did we do to deserve it? I will spend
my last pesewas on a flight rather than go through that ordeal.

Anyway while I muse about roads, I might as well ask about fuel. Uncle John,
while you cruise around at top speed in your many-numbered vehicle convoy, the
average Johns like me have to trudge along in our “trotros” and cars. It wasn’t in
the distant past that GH 2.0 could at least get me to work and half the way back.
These days, GHS 2.20 gets me one way and I sense that the mate is eyeing 2.5.
Papa John, as for fuel you know now, prices are increasing at the rate at which
the fuel flows into the tank. I have placed a bet that fuel will get to 3.0 soon please don’t let me lose my bet. Don’t deny me this windfall.

hree things are racing for the 3.0 mark: the price of petrol, the GHS-USD rate
and my “trotro” fare. Did you mention unleaded fuel? Never mind that doesn’t
exist in my dictionary. Like seriously, who does that? In this “ecomini?” As my
friend told me lately, car air conditioners are on a need-to-use basis only.
Maybe
I should congratulate you for making us more energy conscious and frugal.
Before I even talk about energy, MOBA Paa Kwesi and his friends at BOG told
us to do a couple of things to stem the tide of the depreciating cedi. We’ve tried
oo, Papa John. We’ve abided at best and you’ve prevented us from outsmarting
the system and yet the Benjamins say they’re headed to the moon and no one is
going to stop them. It was only a few months ago that I went to “abrokyire” and I kept the calculator app on my phone open multiplying by 2.4 to be sure whether
to buy or not. Today, that figure is 2.81. “Are we going or coming?” as my Ashanti
friends would ask.
Energy? I’m a Ga man from Osu. As we say, “kaaa ya dj3m3.” (Transliterated
“Don’t go there.”) As to why we can’t produce enough power, I don’t know. I
should probably have paid more attention in undergraduate engineering classes
when we discussed power. So our friends at Either Candle or Generator (ECG)
cannot even stick to a schedule. How in John’s name are we supposed to plan?
Does the power go out too at “John’s ville?” I’ve heard that it’s the epitome of
stupidity and pride to be ironing at 5:59 and stop to spray starch on your clothes.
Is there an end in sight to all this waltz of the power?
Speaking of power, there’s a lot of it being abused lately it seems. As for
judgement debts and monies disappearing and being misappropriated; you it’s
okay, I don’t want to get “BP.” Senior Papa John boomed recently, albeit faintly,
that in 1979 there was no food but now there’s food in the markets but we cannot
buy. JJ seems to be famishing hence this “boom” wasn’t half as loud as the ones
we’ve known before. We love everything foreign - dogs, food, cars, rice, etc. I
only see one thing: Benjamins. Dollars, dollars, dollars. I don’t know about you
but the last I checked I earned cedis which are increasingly taxed.
Senior John, you see if I earn 2000 a year, that used to be $833.33 a few months
ago. About 3 months on, its $711.74 If I win my “3.0 bet” that’ll be $666.666 Can
it get any more ominous than “666?” I’m not a firm believer in the “dwarf theory”
but then again after “666,” it must be the dwarves. Presido, it means I’ve lost
15% of purchasing power already and by the time I hit the devilish number, I’m
reduced a good 20%! Dada John in fact you’ve just made my generous
employers look like wicked people. You’ve absorbed their kind raise and left me
worse off. As for your taxes, “I won’t say anything.”
I heard you say things are stable in one breath then in another admit things are
tough. Honestly I’m confused. If this is good then it must be good for some
people but definitely not for Muniratu at Tema Station trying to make a living as a
head porter or for me Nii, white-collar job “wannabe” bourgeoisie.

Uncle I am tired. John the first is tired. The elephants are tired. In fact the kitchen
is very hot and we’re looking for our passports. Oh they are expired and it’ll take
God knows how long to get a new one. You I’ll leave government inefficiencies
and dismal systems for another day. We are begging. We are suffering. We are
honest people, trying to make an honest living. If this is the better Ghana you
promised just send us back to pre-better days. For once, the past seems an
appealing option. We beg “e no dey bee keke.” This is my letter to you on behalf
of many others who are exasperated and just too frustrated to speak again. Help
us!I remain proudly Ghanaian.

Nii Sai
The author, Sidney Laud Nii Sai Schandorf, is a project manager, theologian, and
experienced IT and business process consultant and trainer who blogs on
theology and life at www.niisai.com and leadership, project and process
management at www.pmpthoughts.com He may be reached at
Sidney@pmpthoughts.com