By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D.
Garden City, New York
March 31, 2016
E-mail: okoampaahoofe@optimum.net

You see, congenital fools like Dr. McHypocrite do not appreciate the basic fact that the birthday of any person is his/her holiest day on the annual calendar. And that all civilized humans are agreed that one’s birthday is not the day or time to weave reckless tirades of sarcasm aimed at slyly diminishing the sociopolitical status and significance of another in order to ingratiate oneself with one’s audience of sworn detractors and iconoclasts. This is a fundamental tenet of good breeding.

But, of course, we all know from his reams of malediction against the 2016 New patriotic Party’s Presidential Candidate, that McHypocrite is pathologically oriented towards seizing the least opportunity to expand his scatological literary canvas of perpetually caricaturing the man he has vowed to relentlessly malign in perpetuity. And so like Sisyphus, he has been eternally doomed to Akufo-Addo hating. I also don’t know why this medical practice license-renting crook chose to pretentiously celebrate Nana Akufo-Addo’s birthday, when he could have channeled his sinister spirit into a hearty and raucous celebration of his own father, even if the latter happens to have since long crossed over to the other side of the here-and-now.

You see, none of us Akyem Mafiosi take this crocodile-looking toad seriously any more. Which is not to imply that any of us ever trusted him, or misguidedly ever fooled ourselves into thinking that he meant any good, not even when he so unctuously squirted the same from the twisted corners of his mouth. You see, we Kyebi Mafiosi had been drinking from the source of The Birem, from time immemorial, until the godforsaken Ganja Boy polluted our sacred font of pride with Galamsey. We were never raised to squat on other people’s hard-fought lands and deviously afflict ourselves with expedient amnesia, so as to claim ownership and citizenship and forcibly assume leadership of Quisling’s Army. “Jabetz,” indeed!

Then also, what has the end of Nana Akufo-Addo’s life got to do with the price of “Pusa” in Asebu? You did not bring him into this world, so what makes you believe you can take him out, or that you have a right to count and number the rest of his days? Are you God or Tigari? You’d be better off counting the number of hair strands growing up your own anus, pubes and armpits. Also, just what makes you think that you can strip any bird of is feathers and ask Akufo-Addo to call its name? I have absolutely no doubt your ancestral land is chock-full of hare-brained toddlers and praying lunatics, as in mantis.

Uh, praying for party unity when all you have done is to callously and unconscionably sow seeds of irreparable discord. Come on, son of a cross between a roach and a rat, wake up and smell the muck of your own cuisine!

*Visit my blog at: kwameokoampaahoofe.wordpress.com Ghanaffairs