Congo crisis, Zimbabwe crisis

MEMO: GLOBAL ANALYTICA, Inc. - 6.26.08

written by Konongo Fordjour

I had long suspected and forecasted in my previous reports through my consulting bureau, The Global Analytica, Inc. that Morgan Tsvangirai, the opposition MDC party of Zimbabwe, challenging Sally Mugabe's husband, Akonta Robert, will pull out unceremoniously and run away. Oyi-wa! There we go! Pineapple-face Tsvangirai ("Changirai") is on the defence, and ready to run away. People, let us always read between the lines carefully before judging. This Morgan guy is the same brat - an incorrigible darling boy of Comrade Mugabe - of Zimbabwe Trades Union Congress (ZTUC) in the 1980s who initiated xenophobia to smoke us out of Zimbabwe when we were just peaceful teachers there. Now he needs our simpathy and support.

Ghana at that time was burning with Gun-man Jerry Rawlings' criminal junta with uncontrolled curse of hunger in 1983 and global deportations, e.g. from Nigeria, Britain, etc. Our predicament in those days seemed a deliberate treatment from fellow African countries to throw us back to this inferno-inspired, tribalized henchmen, and murderous cocoons. I quite remember Morgan Tsvangirai of ZTUC and Emerson Mnangaguwa mounting on a platform in ZANU-PF rally at Highfields near Harare in October 1982 to declare other African professionals jumping into Zimbabwe after independence, dominated by Ghanaian professionals, as camels who come in so low for Zimbabwe nationals to mount on them and slowly show their height by taking all their jobs. This xenophobic attitude sent a very strong fury through the entire population that pumped the already violent Shona rudely towards expatriates, especially Ghanaians, in a deliberate embarrassment to Sister Mrs. Sally Mugabe (late).

Unfortunately most of our information about Zimbabwe is taken from foreign sources, such as BBC, VOA, etc. however, facing the real facts, Comrade Mugabe is the only one, currently, who can handle that country peacefully. The nature of Zimbabweans needs a Robert Mugabe's nature. Imagine a country dehumanized and despirited by a "Colour-Bar" policy for centuries, went to war in a divided strategy, and enslaved in their own country without land, then I guess you will understand who the sort of nationalists you will be dealing with. The remnants of the racist British fools are simply fanning illusionary flame to cause mayhem in Zimbabwe because of their bitter defeat in both pre- and post-independence. Zimbabwe without Robert Mugabe will be ‘Sodom and Gomorra’ grassland that no one will want to live in it.

What Morgan Tsvangirai refuses to accept is that Zimbabwe is polarized on tribal lines - Shona (82%) being the largest single tribe occupying Harare and the northern territories, and the most fertile and largest part of the country. Ndebele (14%), the second largest tribe occupying Bulawayo as capital and southern Zimbabwe; as well as the Nguni and other smaller pockets of tribes (2%) surrounding towns like Hwange, Gweru, Mutare, Motopos (Fort Victoria), etc. but all leaned towards the great Shona tribe. It is therefore inconceivable to phantom with Tsvangirai's assertion that Robert Mugabe is bent on stealing the results of the elections. Nonsense! Simba Makoni, the third presidential candidate in the March pools is from the third tribal grouping mentioned above and will easily direct his votes to Comrade Mugabe at a resounding 53% victory to 47% of Tsvangirai's last performance. Go through Zimbabwe's electoral records and find President Mugabe's recordings between 53% and 56% winning bracket pattern continuously. The answer is plain and simple: the Shona-Gweru-Hwange faction will not allow an "Ndebele" or any minority to rule them, never, at least not in the near future in a sharply divided bitter political environment nurtured by colonialism. Moreover Tsvangirai's bid seems to be propagated by the nauseating British crap because of the land deal. Consequently, the Zimbabweans will be skeptical of unquestioned hand over to traitors who are ready to sell them back to colonialism. That simple statement will rule anybody out regardless of how urgent they intend to change leadership from the status-quo.

The only advise I would recommend, if Tsvangirai and his cohorts will listen, is to join the train and change things around. "If you cannot beat them, please join them". Zimbabweans have known discrimination enough and they will resist any that is even from themselves. Many great leaders today, such as John Kufuor, circumcised their characters to join the virulent and ruthless leaders by joining their quarters to learn the way they do things and slowly strategize innovative ways to get out of the non-functioning ones. Mr. Mugabe is not a tyrant nor is he a despot as the western news media would want us to believe.

Comrade Mugabe has done a lot for Africa and his own Zimbabwe. His problem seems to be greater than the continent’s as a whole. Surely, he is old, tired, and really wants to rest but definitely not to hand over power to a brutal opposition man with a nuclear arsenal on top of his head. Dr. Simba Makoni had suggested earlier to Mr. Tsvangirai to seek a union government that will bring reconciliation instead, but Morgan has refused which makes him not peaceful enough and bent on vengeance and/or retribution. The ZANU-PF have also reiterated that a prime ministerial post would be created to bring Morgan on board as they did in the late 1980s to mid-1990s with Joshua Nkomo, yet Morgan does not want that as well.

So what is the fuss? Unconditional surrender to the western infidels? No way, sirs. But just strip Morgan Tsvangirai naked and you will find an empty barrel with no formal education and/or the rare diplomacy required, comparable with Robert Mugabe, which can provide any consolatory demand for a presidential caliber in him. The rubber-stamp Ghanaian MPs and stomach-politicians who are scared to hell of Gun-man Rawlings, to offer him free protection, constitutionally, and in turn protecting their so-called “parliamentary experience” must mind their own corrupt business and leave Zimbabweans alone. Any little error will cause another “Rwanda” in Zimbabwe. It is very disheartening to hear our own African countries’ reasoning so cheaply manipulated by western failed policies. Kwame Nkrumah’s unfortunate utterances in the 1960s that sent executioner Kojo Tsikata, etc. to the warring zone left a bitter feud in Congo-Kinshasa-Zaire, that remain unsolved until today. The diametrical triad in Africa’s Zimbabwean crisis today is incomparable to the political maze that eluded the brains of Moise Tsvombe, Patrice Lumumba, and Kasavubu conundrum in the 1960s. Our parliament must be extremely careful in its parochial alignment with the same US-UN-EU bait that always set our continent behind. Zimbabwe is a democracy that practices periodic general elections just like any other democracy. Why is the west spending billions of their own currencies to unseat President Mugabe? Just because of taking his land from the less than 1% white folks in his country? Why is Africa not wasting their time on Gaddafi, Biya, and the like as well? Perhaps we should be careful with the letters “T” for Tsvombe or Tsvangirai and “Z” for Zaire or Zimbabwe. Mugabe and Zimbabwe do not need any foreign intervention. If Morgan Tsvangirai has anything new other than what we Africans know in continental governance, he should join the current legitimate government and help it develop. Rev. Ndabaninghe Sithole, Dr. Joshua Nkomo, and the like have all withered in front of Robert Gabriel Mugabe; and I wonder how incoherent Morgan Tsvangirai can stand the test of the time.

We remain supportive of our government’s neutral stance. Probably Comrade Mugabe has the last chance to train his faithful young man or woman and get ready to hand over power later, now that the hurdle has been jumped with Tsvangirai fumbling behind the great Motopos wall. Cheers!