“Oh, how the Coronavirus has come to elevate political power to unusual echelons of enjoyment! For whenever I hear the preliminary commentary 'Fellow Ghanaians, good evening', I know that we are about to be launched gallantly into some straights of utopia, where the enumeration, calibration and veneration of the wondrous success stories of our common fight against this wicked virus would receive elevated exhibition and propaganda. Never mind the increasing numbers!"

I believe no such cacophony, the theory floating in town that military deployment to various sensitive, political parts of our country is a strategy to resist and stop the mercenary infiltration of the Coronavirus into Ghana. Such elementary dishonesties are some of the reasons why many individuals dread the vocation of politics like the bubonic plague.

If there is any truth in the myth that lawyers are made to lie face down in their graves (they cannot see the sun) as a consequence of their dabbling in the trade of lies and deceit, then their counterparts, the politicians, must be made to lie sideways on the shoulder, with their necks twisted in double to appease nature for all the untruths they peddle as envoys of lies.

This virus is not a human being capable of withstanding military arrests. If this were so, the suffering Trump administration, with all its invincibility by air, land and sea would not have been overrun by the rampaging virus in a manner characteristic of a military raid of fatal proportions.

Ghana is the first country, anywhere in the world, to attempt to eradicate the Coronavirus by deploying soldiers to garrison and fortify our border posts, by day and by night! And of course, the most appropriate time to apprehend the invading marauding virus is on the eve of the voters registration exercise, with double emphasis and convergence on opposition strongholds! The Guinness Book of Records should mark this excellent achievement in our prodigious name as the holders of this world record.

Fortunately, the coiners and conjugators of this farce could not validate their theory with data from any formidable state agency. I say that this military emergency is more theoretical than practical. Thus, dataless, without evidence, and without the slimmest visage of proof, the theory seeks to overthrow our conscience with this political hyperbole of a ravaging virus visible everywhere and causing ferocity more so in the powerful den of the foe!

Oh, how the Coronavirus has come to elevate political power to unusual echelons of enjoyment! For whenever I hear the preliminary commentary “Fellow Ghanaians, good evening...”, I know that we are about to be launched gallantly into some straights of utopia, where the enumeration, calibration and veneration of the wondrous success stories of our common fight against this wicked virus would receive elevated exhibition and propaganda! Never mind the increasing numbers!

It was by this same “Fellow Ghanaians”, that the right of Christians to congregate for worship was first taken away, and later trimmed to scalp to admit only 100 congregants, and service duration cut down to just an hour.

And yet amazing freedom, and right of prolonged celebration, including parading the streets on victory laps of excessive joy, were accorded without limitation to political elections and constituency happiness. Of course, the Coronavirus has association colours!

And now, with the full blessings of government, we are committing over 18 million Ghanaian lives to experimentation with Corona, thanks to the ongoing voters registration exercise. This is how ably we have succeeded in our common fight against this mortal enemy!

I even heard that as part of political recommendations for the smooth governance of the church, temperature-high congregants can no more commit their healing to Christ in these abnormal times. Therefore, any such visitation by these individuals to the sanctuary of faith for the purpose of healing is now unlawful.

Such temperature-high deviants must vacate the premises of the church, like the disappearance of a mouse in the presence of the cat, less the church risks further interference of political authority into its affairs, which might even lead to sudden truncation of those congregational rights outright. And yet, these revolutionary prohibitions bear the brave signatories and endorsement of our church leaders too!

But the best part of this “Fellow Ghanaians...” speech is the concluding passage which has now adopted a religious tone of appeasement by its allusion to vital Biblical expressions such as “The battle is the Lord’s” for religious effect!

Duality of dualities I say!