Opinions of Sunday, 24 August 2014

Columnist: Kwarteng, Francis

Fate Of A Misguided Scholar 7

In what way is the primatial intelligence of the sick “scholar” different from ethno-animal man’s? This question is closely analogous to the ontological relationship between a doppelganger and a ghost, a not-so-grotesque case where a blind man fails to tell an alligator and a crocodile apart, or tell blindness from dark matter. However, somewhere along the spectrum of ironic confusion lies the graphic node of the sick “scholar’s” iconized stupidity and intellectual buffoonery. How come the sick “scholar” cannot differentiate between the cosmological modalities of white hole and of dark hole as regards questions of historical “truth” and moral honesty?

There is another angle to look at this question. And here it goes: The modalities of free speech and freedom of choice could not have been so incontestably unkind to the sick “scholar” since the same variable inducements have made geniuses out of Ave Kludze, Ama Ata Aidoo, Victor Lawrence, Yaw Nyarko, Ayi Kwei Armah, Molefi Kete Asante, Kofi Awoonor, Francis Allotey, Kwame Botwe-Asamoah, Trebi Ashitey-Ollenu, Francis Allotey, Kofi Anyidoho, Kwame Anthony Appiah, Thomas Mensah, Isaiah M. Blankson…

What is the secret then? Free speech and freedom of choice are the reasons for the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, allegedly, at least so saith D.H. Lawrence’s “the Bible is a great confused novel.” If this is in fact true, why then have the same modalities of free speech and freedom of choice permanently made a clownish dunce out of the sick “scholar”? Are the modalities of free speech and artistic choice freedoms exchange rate for inelegant stupidity and intellectual moronism on the sick “scholar’s” part? Where is the beef, the sick “scholar’s”? Thank God, thank the ancestors, thank the gods the sick “scholar’s” comedic intellectual theatrics has given The People and The Country something to laugh about, enough comic relief to sustain the corporate mentality of latter’s much-abused national psychology.

A therapy of sorts!…The sick “scholar,” the fool in Shakespeare’s “King Lear”; the foolish Porter in Shakespeare’s “Macbeth”; the foolish grave-digger in Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”; the befooled buffoon Roderigo in Shakespeare’s “Othello”;…The sick “scholar,” a matchless kurtosis of stupidity!

The sick “scholar,” the good-for-nothing-cassava-man Kofi Ako; of Ama Ata Aidoo’s “Anowa”; an ethno-animal man who is not even qualified to bear the cumulative weight of Shakespeare’s discarded folios and quartos and octavos on the physical pregnancy of his cranial worthlessness! The sick “scholar,” an ethno-animal poetaster and novelaster wannabe whose chickenshit intellectualism, first and foremost, Soyinka conceives of as integral to the philosophical cartilage of “prejudices of the ‘fictionists’ of her reality, the heirs of Herodotus.” Even Wole Soyinka understandably sees the sick “scholar” as a bundle of lies. Who, then, after all, let The Baha Men’s dogs out, O Great People of the World? What are The Country and The People doing about the sick “scholar’s” charged mental entropy, The Baha Men’s dogs of mediocre literaryism? Could the sick “scholar’s” fragmentary enema-bag cranial morphology have contracted the bug of Johannine revelationism, of New Testament absolutism? If not, why then has the thunderous cloud of religiosity taken over the social space of The Country’s national conscience?

Yet many a sophisticated thinker considers the ethnocentric religiosity of the sick “scholar” a trivial matter. Is the enthalpy tension bubbling up in the sick “scholar’s” “Atumpan” head too much for him to bear? There apparently seems to be a lack of ready-made answers. Where do we look? Let us retrace our steps. Now, talking about the modalities of freedom of choice and free speech, how come “The Allotey Formalism,” one of the outstanding achievements of The Country’s most renowned mathematician and scientist, reliably predicts the behavior of matter in outer space when the sick “scholar” barely can see beyond his raptorial bird beak-nose?

Are his fake nerd glasses the cause of his stiffened intellectual myopia? Is the ventriloquist’s diamagnetic voice of political ethnocentrism truly the sick “scholar’s”? Or is his the entrenched voice of demonological possession? Is the sick “scholar” capable of the mystifying intelligence of the golden plates of Joseph Smith’s Book of Mormon, the Biblical Abraham of the Joseph Smith Papyri, so-called Book of Abraham? Oh yes. Are the requirements of free speech and artistic choice freedoms then grounds for feeding The People and The Country with suicidal potions of Jim Jones’ cyanide-tainted sedatives of artistic, intellectual, and pedagogical mediocrity?

Ideally, it is only appropriate to declare at this juncture it is not for anything peculiar that we invoke the cultic imagery of religiosity on our exegesis of inter-ethno-racial relations in The Country. Yet the issue of religiosity is a deeply troubling one. What say? It appears all the Abrahamic religions conspired to and did eventually succeed in robbing Africa of its ethno-animal humanity via gamma-ray irradiation of physical, cultural, psychological, and spiritual enslavement. Talmudic and Islamic and Christian traditions and self-serving Biblical exegesis conveniently reorganized the individual ethno-racial bricks in the monolithic edifice of ethno-animal humanity into a hierarchy of race relations in which whiteness assumed the place of God and perfection and blackness the place of Satan and blemish. Today, balls of unrestrained fire of religiosity rage through The People’s psychological bushels.

And as it were, O Great People of the World, self-proclaimed Boko Haram prophets wield the Koran and their Al-Shabab Christian pastors the Bible, self-righteously, all over the bruised face of The Country, claiming the two books of civilizational pastoralism as divine approval of their infallible authority while egregiously masking their ethnocentric and political biases and material greed under cover of neutrality. Most of these self-seeking prophets and pastors of spiritual and psychosocial terrorism have done their utmost to dethrone the authority of critical thinking, science, and tolerance and then turned over that authority to superstition, demagoguery, and intolerance. Thus, they have, in a sense, taken the place of Talmudic and Christian and Islamic relegation of blackness to the backwater of ethno-animal racial irrelevance. Today again, a large segment of the Christian and Moslem population sees itself primarily as God’s children and non-Christians and non-Moslems alike as Satan’s children.

The unfortunate part of this shameful narrative is a clear existential overlap between the sick “scholar’s” authorial slant toward ethnocentric and ethno-political psychologization and the divisive prejudices of religious fanatics. Incidentally the Christian Church of The Country has become Wall Street, a metonym for capitalist exploitation of mostly the socially marginalized poor. As a matter of fact, the Country’s Christian Church has also become a psychiatric institution and a crowded prison where some of The People are voluntarily institutionalized and imprisoned, respectively, at the expense of their psychological individuation and emotional balance. Moreover, these materialistic evangelical Christians live extravagantly on earth, as angels certainly do in heaven, even while they shamelessly preach to their largely poor congregation to wait upon Elijah’s Chariot of Fire and extraterrestrial spaceships to freight them to that utopian place, heaven.

Taking note of all the above, O Great People of the World, the element of religious exceptionalism on the part of The Country’s pastoral elitism is, evidently, not dissimilar to the sick “scholar’s” consistent dogmatization about ethnic exceptionalism, of which he belongs. As well, it should be a concerned matter of critical emphasis that, the sick “scholar’s” inflated opinions on ethnic exceptionalism are, unmistakably, kleptomaniac internalization of Talmudic, Christian, and Islamic despoliation of blackness, which he injudiciously projects onto ethnicities other than his own without regard to the central theses of human genomics, sociolinguistics, human geography, genetic flow and genetic drift. Yet his poetic and journalistic and novelistic unscience blinds him to what knowledgeable people everywhere know is patently amiss, which is that the etiological transmissibility of his Ebola virus literaryism easily dissolves all rigid man-made multinational barriers of ethno-races. Is there a moral imperative justifying a need for ethnic exceptionalism then?

Apparently not! Likewise, we may have to present D.H. Lawrence’s “the Bible is a great confused novel” as a ruthless, uncompromising internal critique of the Biblical infallibility of God, who, not unlike the sick “scholar,” failed to integrate a foreknowledge of Satan’s Machiavellian, authority-averse pretensions into his scheme of creation, thus undermining creationist exceptionalism. This element of internal critique, however, points to the sick “scholar’s” scientific unintelligence and flagrant ignorance of his family history, of his multiethnic pedigree. Then again, the element of internal critique should have to entail a revolutionary portfolio of rhetorical action, critical conscientization, scientific literacy, cross cultural sensitivity (cultural awareness), Ubuntu, and outright rejection of sentimental essentialism. Consequently, The People must corporately resist his calculated attempts to impose his divisive views on ethnic electrophoresis on The Country by force of intellectual arms and of journalistic will.

Matters arising! It turns out the sick “scholar’s” political coevals from The Country are in on this ethnic exceptionalism nonsense, too. Let it be known henceforth that The People and The Country will not stand idly by or look insouciantly on as the sick “scholar’s” chickenshit poetry and novelistic trivialization induce aliteracy and illiteracy in The Country, threaten the enervate edifice of national psychology…and even become part of the running current of unscientific ideas, what Wole Soyinka frames as “proliferating autogeny within a hermetic realm.” Technically, the phrase “hermetic realm” stands in for the sick “scholar’s” confused, airtight, non-trivial knot donut-head, a trefoil-knot kind of deceased head; “proliferating autogeny” is the sick “scholar’s” self-perpetuating lies, uncorroborated or unscientific pontifications! In that regard, O Great People of the World, does the sick “scholar” deserve the same dialectic height of uncompromising defense which Soyinka gives Africa in his masterpiece “Myth, Literature and the African World”?

Should the sick “scholar” be forced to drink the cup of hemlock from which Socrates drank dying in order to end his miserable life of intellectual apostasy and uncommon tomfoolery?

Final Questions 1: Does it come as a major surprise, then, O Great People of the World, to read the sick “scholar’s” self-authored obituary, his corpus of soap opera scholasticism, something as questionably yet expectedly as Moses self-consciously yet mysteriously did in the Book of Deuteronomy? Is the Book of Deuteronomy not a compendium of moral law, penance, cleanliness, obedience, devotion, animal oblation, and what have you? It is generally agreed, though, that the sick “scholar” need avail himself of these Deuteronomic stipulations to cleanse his polluted psychology, which The People are ready to accept as a well-deserved penance for his ethnocentric and revisionist crimes.

Those aside, could the sick “scholar’s” dislocated psychology and sickly literary works have resulted from the Plague of Athens, putatively the virus of auctorial trashiness, the likes of which decimated a large segment of the Athenian population during the Peloponnesian War? Did Thucydides’ “History of the Peloponnesian War” see the sick “scholar’s” second-rate literaryism coming? Is the ethnocentric Plague of Athens not a threat to intra-national cohesion? Is it possible for The People and The Country to wait up for the sick “scholar’s” Ebola virus literary ordinariness before embarking upon corrective measures?

Final Questions 2: Could stupidity and dumbness be more expensive than education? And if indeed “a mind is a terrible thing to waste,” what have The People and The Country got to say about a stinking garbage-filled mind that repairs to a toxic waste dump for self-burial?

Final Question 3: Could Max Romeo’s “Chase the Devil” track do the trick? Or even of Pharrell’s “Happy”? Where are the gods and ancestors of intelligence, wisdom, and prescience?

Oh, O Great People of the World, The People are calling the sick “scholar” the Devil. This name does seem appropriate for him, nevertheless, and we shall shortly see why this is so. “Every Dung Beetle knows about the morphological texture of dung,” says The Scarab Beetle, “therefore, the particular Dung Beetle that timidly feigns ignorance of the excretory consciousness of material dung-ness is an incorrigible liar. Such a Dung Beetle is not deserving of the communal sympathy of The People.”

That chronic lying Dung Beetle in question is the sick “scholar,” the Devil! But what exactly has The Scarab Beetle been saying? Assata Shakur seems to have the answer. She has maintained now and then: “The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.” What more is there to say? Self-knowledge, self-awareness, or history, that is, a meaningful tributary of intimate, frank knowledge of oneself surely links up to an ocean of self-actualization if one honestly acknowledges hostile hurdles on the way and one has a willing foresight to circumvent them. That is an expression of wisdom, intelligence, and prescience!

What is more, wisdom, intelligence, and prescience are not the singular preserve of transcendence. Indeed the seeds of wisdom, prescience, and intelligence can be culturally cultivated through spiritual siltation of patience, humility, tolerance, cosmopolitanism, respect for others, healthy curiosity, insightful appreciation of the self and of other selves, and virtuous, purposeful living. A word to the fool, the sick “scholar,” can never be sufficient!

Say what? The sick “scholar” and The Country should have to learn from The Scarab Beetle and Assata Shakur in order to divest themselves of the stinking flatulence of crusted stupidity. Know thyself, the sick “scholar” and The Country!

We shall return…