Many people are beginning to suspect that this current government – and indeed anyone that does business with this government – finds perverse pleasure in embarrassing the nation. It seems as though Ghanaians hardly have the opportunity to recover from one local scandal or international disgrace before the next one besieges us.

As a collective, we’ve managed to take it in stride. We’ve found ways to turn our tragedy into humor; to laugh at our dismal situations to keep from crying. We’ve turned our pain into art and then used that art as a sepulcher for our hopes, praying that one day a Chinese Jesus Christ will find it in his heart to resurrect the vision of our forefathers, reverse the tide of our misfortunes with his mighty Yuan and make Ghana great again. Instinctively, we know that the ordinary Ghanaian cannot possibly hope to affect change for him/herself or the country because an obdurate political elite goatishly refuses to clear the barriers that would allow every citizen to work towards greatness.

From our roads, to our utility deployment the proof is everywhere.

Why do our best footballers pay for foreign clubs? Why are so many skilled Ghanaian surgeons operating in hospitals in San Francisco, or Alberta, or London instead of Kintampo or Kumasi? Why is Abraham Attah being advised to carry his career to Hollywood if he wants to keep his successful momentum going? Why do people express (pleasant) shock that a sleek bunk bed could be manufactured and sold in Ghana? Because “Brand Ghana”, a term our sitting president fondly coined and uses at every opportunity, is ignominious at best. Long ago, the ancients pondered among themselves and asked, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Now Ghanaians must ask themselves the same thing about the ruling NDC.

It has to be said: this brochure has outdone all of their previous blunders and it cannot (and more importantly, should not) be forgiven.

Ghana is failing and the longer we deny this, the worse and faster these catastrophic social cancers will spread. We, who find ourselves among the privileged class must bear the blame for this and take responsibility for the vortex of ineptitude that the country is swirling in. We’ve left the asylum to the inmates for too long. If we don’t build a tractor beam and tether it to planned excellence, we are going to be forever engulfed in darkness with no way to swim out. There will be no bottom to hit and bounce back from/on to assist us. It is up to us, the ones with education, resources and connections to put those facilities to good use and to right the many wrongs of a self-serving and self-congratulating political aristocracy. And we have to be willing to work with the working poor and others without the benefit of elite access to reverse this unholy trend that we’re on.

When critics of the current establishment say that virtually everything that this government does is marked by a dereliction of duty, even on the smallest scale, they are branded as “opposition” or “enemies of progress”. But where is the progress that is so often touted actually seen, outside of the gallant individual efforts of enterprising citizens putting in 80 hours (or more) of work every week? Certainly not at the legislative, executive and/or municipal levels. All we see is meritocracy and mediocrity, daily. Thus, the 59th Independence brochure became a visible picture of the type of ineptitude in government that Ghanaians are forced to navigate and live with. It’s not unfair to ask whose barely literate MP’s side chick (or side boy, if reports are to be believed) was awarded the contract to proof and print these brochures?

As I said before, these mistakes are simply unforgivable; but more importantly, they reveal something more sinister: a blatant disregard for the pride and dignity of the nation as a whole. When the NDC (or NPP or any other party, for that matter) fails on this level, it’s not simply a dingy reflection on that political party, but on all who call themselves sons and daughters of Ghana. Just look at this.

The entire document is a fiasco… Like someone threw rocks into a calabash, shook them around, and then fed the noise into Google Translate and printed the results.

In a comical attempt to cover the (frequent) failings of the now-exposed blemishes of the president’s communication team, some sycophants have regurgitated the old excuse that “English is not the Ghanaian’s first language” and that these painful blunders are therefore no big thing. And that’s all well and good…but can someone explain how Uhuru Kenyatta went from honored guest to president of the nation, according to this same document? This error has nothing to do with grammar or command of the English language!

And then there is this nonsensical insistence on describing John Mahama as a “youthful” president.

It was a moniker that won him favor with the under 40 crowd during his last campaign. He was painted as cool and hip, a picture of anti-establishment. He can’t rely on that image anymore, and it certainly has no place in a brochure touting 59 years of independence. This is not a Wisa concert. It’s time to build a new façade. The man has 18 kids, most of who were born out of wedlock. It would appear that more often than not, his youthful exuberance is more aggressively applied in the bedroom and not the boardroom where the nation needs most.

Still on the follies of youthful exuberance: Last week, President Mahama read a litany of manufactured accomplishments during the State of the Nation address. Fact checkers were quick to point out the many inconsistencies with what he read and the reality on the ground. Projects that were said to be in the works were mere exaggerations of the truth or non-existent, in some cases. Hyperbole was the order of the day, especially where the topic of access to quality education and healthcare were concerned.

At the moment, expectant mothers across the nation either have to share beds or lie on the floor to give birth. Nurses have to leave their stations to fetch water in buckets across town because there are no flowing taps to their clinics. The list of structural ills is endless. So if by “youthful” leadership, we’re referring to a high school boy yobbing about his borrowed Converse while leaning against a rented car pretending to have ownership of either, then yeah… the descriptor applies. Oh, but how we wish this president would run the country like a BOSS MAN.

There’s so much more to be said about #Brochuregate and the many examples of how it is indicative of a general failure in attitude and execution of duty from those who hold responsibility for governing 27 million lives. Like the brochure, Ghana is pretty from a distance, but upon closer inspection, the shit is fucked up. You know what’s worse? Before I could finish typing this post, I came across this apology from the information services department. Look at this:

Did you note the date?

Yeah. I know. Like…

“Dude, we knew back in JANUARY we were going to screw up. I just went ahead and wrote this letter fuh ya in advance. Cuz I be efficient lydat.”

…or he just didn’t proof read his own letter.

Do you now see how Ghana gets duped of billions of dollars in international contracts? Do you see how we ended up handling the care of two of the most dangerous prisoners in Gitmo (who suddenly became lambs after transfer to our shores)? You see why Monsanto and Big Pharma companies can swoop in and biologically terrorize our citizens? You see why every year, there is major flooding in our major cities, despite the falling of barely 3 inches of rain? Because qualified people aren’t being chosen to handle important, and in this brochure’s case, highly visible items on virtually every level.

The real tragedy is that there are more than a handful of professional and reputable editing organizations (Gird Centre being one of them) that could have handled this for the 59th celebrations of our independence. Why were they not contracted? Surely the printing budget included a line item for professional proofreading as well?

There are zoos that are better and more efficiently run than Ghana is being run right now. Is this the “Brand Ghana” image we are going to continue to export to the world?

It’s time to stop laughing – and trust me, I know that’s hard, given the fact that there are so many clowns showing up for work once a week and running this show.