In Ghana, as in many societies, discussing puberty, adolescence, relationships, consent, and sexual health can be challenging. Sex, in particular, is a subject that parents rarely talk about with their children.


However, these conversations are crucial for the well-being and safety of the growing child. As part of adolescence, children become more attracted to the opposite sex. There is a strong urge to explore and be sexually active. Without guidance, they become prey to adult deviants like pedophiles and more.

They are also exposed to negative peer pressure and try to fit in or belong. Narratives from their peers about their sexual escapades become alluring and push them to level up.

In my teenage years and the first phase of my youth, I often heard the narrative that in the world of real men, or the "boys code," making out with a girl who enters your bedroom is a must. You were seen as a simp or a weak man if you decided to be a gentleman and not touch a woman you took home. The rule suggested that you must make out with her at all costs, even if she rejects you.

Unfortunately, in our society, there is an accompanying belief in the romance landscape that when a lady says no, she actually means yes and is just playing hard to get. Armed with this, many boys and men have forced themselves on women and girls and had sexual encounters without their consent. Even when these ladies accuse these men or boys of rape, they are often questioned, "What did you go to do in his room?"

The understanding of consent is clearly lacking in our society. Consent is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. It means giving permission for something to happen or agreeing to do something. In the context of romantic or sexual relationships, consent is critical. In the absence of this, many males are guilty of rape. There is a lot to note.

Firstly, the two people must be enthusiastic about the affair. Both parties should be excited and willing to participate. However, as the activity is ongoing, consent can be withdrawn at any time. Consent must also be freely given. Nobody should be subjected to any form of pressure, manipulation, or coercion. Our boys must learn very early in life that "no" always means no. Our ladies must also mean what they say and say what they mean confidently. Silence, being intoxicated, or previous consent does not equal current consent. We must all seek clear, verbal agreement from our partners at all times.

Harmful myths and misconceptions about relationships and consent in our society must be addressed. For instance, "playing hard to get" can be harmful. It's important for women and men, or boys and girls, to communicate clearly and honestly with potential partners. Secondly, the false position taken by many men or boys that spending money on a female entitles them to sexual activity must end. This is false and can lead to dangerous situations. The reality is that no one owes anyone sexual activity, regardless of money spent or gifts given. Another dangerous myth is that "when a girl says no, she means yes." This myth has led to many instances of sexual assault. It is important to always respect a person's stated boundaries. Even in marriage, there is rape, and spouses must be aware of this.

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. We need to respect each other's boundaries and decisions. We need to communicate openly and honestly about feelings and expectations and support each other's goals and independence. As young people or adults, you may face pressure from friends or society to act in certain ways. Always remember that it's okay to say no to things that make you uncomfortable. True friends will respect your decisions and boundaries. You should make choices that align with your own values, not others' expectations.

Under Ghanaian law, sexual assault and rape are serious crimes. The Criminal Offences Act, 1960 (Act 29) defines rape as having carnal knowledge of a female of sixteen years or older without her consent. The punishment for rape can be imprisonment for a term of five to twenty-five years. For juveniles (under 18), cases are typically handled by the Juvenile Justice System, which focuses more on rehabilitation than punishment. However, serious offenses may still result in detention.

As a man or boy, you don't have to force any girl or young woman to have sex with you. You sexually assault someone when they have not given their consent for the sexual activity with you. A lot of boys and men have become serial rapists without knowing it. You don't have to prove any point to your peers. You don't have to break the law to fit in. You are not a dull boy" for keeping your hands off a lady who says no to your sexual advances. If she follows you home, that doesn't mean you must have sex with her at all costs. Don't find yourself on the wrong side of the law, or you will waste your life.