Wanted: Something to Keep Mr. Binbag busy

Countrymen and women, ‘against’ people and bootlickers,

I have been feeling the heat these days all because of that unwanted corruption report card issued by Transparency International. Mr. Binbag has decided to cause the resurrection of a matter I thought was long dead and forgotten – that matter involving the renovation of my other castle at the airport residential area. I think Mr. Binbag got a little too bored as a result of the parliamentary recess and I thank God that parliament has finally resumed sitting. I hope, the resumption of the legislature’s work will get Mr. Binbag off my back. He should now have his hands full instigating his minority followers to stage walkouts and poring over bills in search of loopholes.

I also hope that Mr. Shortee develops a memory as short as his name so that he never call this matter for hearing again. All of a sudden it seems that the corruption spotlight has been turned on me and the whole nation is watching, anxiously waiting to see whether or not Mr. Shortee will declare that my tolerance for corruption is nowhere near zero.

Those looking for a license to nail me with a corruption spear are pointing to the possibility that I might have used some of the taxpayer’s money (I mean money from our communal ‘collection bowl’) to fortify my little castle at the Airport Residential Area.

If the explanation that the money for that job was donated by a hungry-looking farmer from Ashanti does not satisfy my prospective persecutors, perhaps the constitutional provision which places me almost above the law should silence them once and for all. The constitution says that I should not be prosecuted or involved in any civil matter in any court. This constitutional provision, which means that even Mama Tess cannot file for divorce, just affords me a temporary reprieve.

So I think I need something more permanent. I want a more permanent reprieve, which will ensure that the Binbag is permanently taken off my back. I have dug to the deepest depths of my ingenuity and I have come to the realization that the best way of achieving this objective is to make the Binbag my number one anti corruption campaigner. Poking his nose into my affairs and the misdeeds of my numerous ministers will not be part of his portfolio, of course.