I have experienced and observed a recurring pattern among some Ghanaian women that is worth writing about. When a man is kind, loving, and genuinely caring, he often finds himself on the receiving end of mistreatment.

In many cases, when a young Ghanaian woman realizes that her partner is devoted to her, she begins to take him for granted. The assumption that he has no other options and therefore will not leave her becomes a license to behave poorly. This might manifest as emotional neglect, infidelity, or even deliberate attempts to inflict emotional pain. The man’s genuine love and care are not reciprocated; instead, they are met with a sense of entitlement and a lack of appreciation.

This behavior often stems from a misguided belief that a man who is overly nice or loving is somehow less desirable or lacks other prospects. This can lead to a power dynamic where the woman feels she holds all the cards, and as a result, she begins to behave in ways that are hurtful and disrespectful.

Several psychological factors may explain why some young Ghanaian women behave this way in relationships. One possible explanation is a deep-seated fear of vulnerability. When someone shows them love and care, it can evoke feelings of insecurity, prompting them to push the person away before they themselves get hurt. This "preemptive strike" is a defense mechanism designed to protect their own emotional well-being, even if it comes at the expense of their partner’s feelings.

Additionally, there is the issue of unresolved trauma. Many young women may have experienced past relationships where they were mistreated or abandoned. This trauma can create a skewed perception of love and affection, leading them to equate vulnerability with weakness. As a result, when a man is kind and caring, they may subconsciously view it as a sign of weakness, prompting them to take advantage of the situation rather than reciprocate the affection.

Cultural norms also play a significant role in shaping this behavior. In some Ghanaian communities, there is an expectation for women to be "hard to get" or to play hard to maintain a man’s interest. This can sometimes lead to behaviors where women feel they must test a man’s love by treating him poorly to see if he will stay. The assumption is that if he truly loves her, he will endure the mistreatment. Unfortunately, this mindset can lead to toxic relationships where love is confused with suffering.

In contrast, many European women tend to be more upfront and honest in their relationships. If they love someone, they are more likely to treat their partner well and show their affection openly. Conversely, if they no longer have feelings for the person, they are more inclined to end the relationship rather than stay and use their partner. This honesty and directness can be refreshing, as they prevent prolonged emotional manipulation and the unnecessary suffering of both parties.

The consequences of such behaviors can be devastating for both parties involved. Men who are mistreated in relationships often suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. The emotional toll of being in a relationship where their love and care are not reciprocated can be overwhelming, leading to a cycle of hurt and disillusionment.

For women, the long-term impact of such behavior can also be detrimental. By mistreating a genuinely caring partner, they may find themselves trapped in a cycle of unfulfilling relationships, never fully experiencing the depth of love and companionship that comes from mutual respect and affection. Some end up desperate, unable to find a man who will have the right ticks on the checklist.

They are usually attracted to toxic men who will subject them to all forms of abuse. Physically and emotionally. They rarely find men loving and caring enough to fill the vacuum, and as time passes, they realize they are aging and need to settle down. This is the place they visit uncountable spiritualists to help them get a partner.

Ghanaian women need to recognize the value of a kind and caring partner and understand that love is not a game where one person must always hold the upper hand. Men, on the other hand, must be willing to set boundaries and walk away from relationships that are toxic or suffer emotionally and physically.