Opinions of Saturday, 5 September 2009

Columnist: The Royal Enoch

Marriage: She Might Be In It 4 Your Money

Nobody said that the journey of life was going to be easy. Perhaps somebody should've told him, but I guess he knew. He always wanted too much of everything. Nothing was ever considered good enough for him. And not to forget to mention, how much he would complain about almost everything.He would complain about the weather, his minimum wage job, his ungrateful wife, and his stubborn children. And as far as his elderly parents are concerned, the little said the better. He always felt that his father didn't like him, no matter what. Yeah, I'm my old man's first born alright. But look at how he treats me, he would often tell his friends. My old man has money, but I never saw it growing up. Do you know what he called me the last time we talked, he once asked the wife? My old man called me a failure. Said that I was good for nothing. Now why? Because I try hard, but don't succeed? From now on we shall see, he said.

God doesn't love me, he would tell his colleague. Really, I don't think that he does. I've being doing this god-damned work for like ages. Last year alone, this new guy came in. And guess what? He already got a promotion. He is now the assistant manager. And me? I'm still working on the ground floor. Now, can you imagine that after all these years? I wanted to quit, but you know the wife would probably kill me. Damn it, can you understand my situation? And the wife, well she doesn't do shit. Can't ask her for money, you know? She doesn't work, don't want to work, and will not work. She tells me that the man is the head of the house, you know? The provider, the bread winner. Her duty she says, is to cook, clean and take care of them kids. I give her money to do the groceries, and all she does is suck up and eat. For sure a wife indeed, but always in need, if you know what I mean. I should've married her little sister. Do you mean Grace? Yeah Grace, the one with prettiest smile and the fat booty. Damn that girl is fine.

Red October came, and with it the global recession. Jobs were lost, including his own.For the first time in years, he sat at home jobless. The bills piled up, and the kids demanded the latest gears to wear. And the wife? Well, she started preaching and comparing. Tell me, is it true that you lost your job or not, she inquired of her husband? You didn't quit by yourself or did you? I know that you always wanted to quit. You talked about quitting, so did you? You know what the Bible says, don't you? Or do I need to remind you? Remind me of what, the husband asked? That the duty of the man is to provide for his family, she said. I hope that you have not forgotten that soon, or have you? I cannot be the provider and cook & clean at the same time, you know? It's either you be the man and provide, or I'm gone. Hell, I cannot be married to a lazy man, she said. Poverty ain't my style, you know? Hey, I could get any man that I want. I still got it, and don't you ever forget it. You little sorry ass man, she said.

In fact, he never expected her to move, leave the kids behind and be gone. He thought those treats of her moving away was just a joke. After all, haven't they been married for what, twenty one years? Now tell me, what kind of woman would simply walk away from that? Yeah, he was unemployed, but it was not like the family was starving? He always provided for his family. It was no secret, everybody knew that. Therefore, you could believe how shocked he was, when he came back from job hunting one day only to find her gone. He sat on the couch, and wondered why she left him. I thought I knew her very well after all these years, he said. Wasn't she the one, who took the wedding vows which said: To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part?