Some of us have expressed concern about the growing phenomenon where bystanders are interested in filming victims of accidents and abuses rather than helping them.

Psychologists have researched into this bystander effects and given certain explanations. The Bystander Effect summarily states that people in a crowd are less likely to help than when they are alone. It is therefore more likely to get help when the number of bystanders are fewer.

I was studying for my Social Psychology exams on Sunday and while going over materials on the subject, I noticed the continual citing of phones and filming of victims instead of helping them. And so I ask the question (deviating from the Bystander Effect); Is it possible that our reality has become so tied into screens that the primary way many respond to reality is to experience it through their cameras?

With accidents and beautiful experiences alike, we are becoming more inclined to filter realities through device screens. At a renowned Televangelist Juanita Bynum’s first ever conference in Ghana at the Accra Sports Stadium some years ago, she had to order congregants to put their phones away. I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences of people filming worship sessions with their personal phones instead of fully enjoying the spiritual moment.

Think about why a person takes shots of their plate of food before tasting it, and forgets to even pray. The camera tastes the food first. When girlfriends meet, it’s the pictures and videos for many. That’s how they know they had a good time.

Even sex has joined the number of activities that people increasingly seek to experience through their screens. Some have the practice of recording themselves because, to them, the memory should be intact, the ecstasy should be captured and the moment shouldn’t be lost.

Or, think about the last time you complimented a friend on meeting them in person. The last time it was Rhoda. She was looking splendid in her mild makeup. Instead of telling her how beautiful she looked, I walked off with my thoughts screaming. If I’d seen her on WhatsApp, I know exactly which emoji I would send. Are we growing to appreciate picture beauty more than physical beauty?

Recently after the COVID-19 lockdown was lifted in parts of Ghana, I made an observation. The whole country was laughing on social media, but from Kasoa to Circle, I searched and couldn’t find a single person smiling on our streets, in the buses and shops. There was real pressure in town, but so much pleasure online. I asked justifiably, who are those online?

With children growing closely with personal tablets and phones, this attachment to screen may even grow worse.

In cases of a dying fellow, an accident victim, a person being physically abused or a child being defiled, it is very inexcusable and unreasonable that people film instead of jump to the aid of victims or call for help.

Perhaps, we need to start making real friends also, not just Facebook friends. We need to be sharing love, not just posts, emojis or Instagram reactions. We need to put our phones down and experience reality indeed. The fiili-fiili is not on any high-definition screen. It’s around us.

Maybe we need more physical hugs, in-person compliments, quality time with friends and not for cameras. We need to play real games and not just software.

When we see people bleeding, shouting and crying for help, we need to detach the view from similar memories that were movies. Let’s wake up, and face reality.

When a child is being molested and abused, that’s not a movie. That’s a life being raped of many good things. That’s a dying child.

We need to see poverty, not documentary. We need to give help the way we practically can. Indeed, many issues are better solved through collective support from others. That can be gotten from social media. But apart from sharing their stories, let us share real love.

Let us drop the phone. Let’s hug. Let’s hold hands. Let’s converse. Let’s look in the eyes. Let’s sit side by side. Let’s encourage. Let’s evangelise. Let’s support; in person, and not just in phones.

So forward this to the spouse who is also on their phone by now. Let them know, it is OK for man to be with phone. What’s not good is to be alone.