First of all I applaud all parents out there, honestly it can’t be easy to raise children especially in a world where nothing seems to be black and white anymore.

Truth is I doubt there’s a fixed method to raising children, yes there are several self help books that may attempt to give you a guideline, and other parents and even some family and friends will also share their “knowledge”, but for the most part I “think” it’s all a trial and error, we’re all so very different and what one person may respond to the other may not.

And so all parents can do is try to instil in their children, all the right values and pray they stick to it as they grow.

Which is why I understand why parents are continuously worried about the things that influence their children;  from their friends and associations to songs, television and a tall list of factors.

For instance, when I was younger I watched Diana King’s ‘ Shy Guy’ music video, and fell in love with short hair, I wanted to cut off my hair immediately and couldn’t wait to be older to.

And this brings me to the whole Rashida the self professed black beauty girl who is currently making waves all over.

A few weeks ago she gained popularity on social media by sharing a video meant to take a jab at her ex boyfriend.

In the video which I refuse to share here to further encourage and spread it, she discribed in detail sexual activities that no girl her age should be engaging in.

More people found it amusing than disgusting and within days she was trending on social media and several platforms; it didnt take long for her to make the news and with that came interviews and thanks to her new found fame, appearances at events.

So you, yes YOU made her POPULAR, each time you shared the video, talked about it and laughed over it with friends, you encouraged the foolishness and gained her even more popularity.

So if you’re looking for why she and may others like her are so popular, look in the mirror; because if you don’t want something to gain popularity, you dont give it attention, it’s really that simple.

But thanks to YOU, within weeks she was more popular than people who’ve been struggling in the industry for years, people only looking for a newspaper mention or for a television station to pick up their songs and the many others you believed deserved this sudden popularity more.

So it didn’t come as a suprise that she won the most viral video at the just ended JIGWE awards, even though many didn’t believe she deserved it because it wasn’t as popular as Lil’Win’s ” I Can’t Think Far”.( I only just watched that recently also).





So let me understand this, you weren’t angry over the nomination, but are because a more “deserving” video didn’t win? Interesting.

I won’t get into the dynamic of voting and how puplarith doesn’t always translate to vote but that’s not for today.

I must emphasis that JIWGE is a spoof of an awards show, where more than anything people go to laugh and poke fun at some of the most trending subjects and people over the year.

And Rashida fell right into the category,which is why many didn’t object to her nomination in the first place.

If anything she was the “Butt” of the jokes and she didn’t even know it.(and from your comments many of you didn’t either, it’s not always that serious people?)

Now this piece isn’t to encourage or discourage her popularity; personally her existence doesn’t bother me that much because I don’t give too much life and attention to things like this.

I’m just here, as always, to get you to look beyond your own sentiments and realize what that the real issue here isn’t Rashida, it’s much bigger than that.

We’re always so quick to point fingers and place blame, but NEVER want to see our own contributions to what we deem “wrong” in this society.

We constantly attack personalities instead of the issues, and because of this we never solve anything but create even more problems.

I hadn’t watched the video of this girl until the brouhaha surrounding her JIGWE win, why?Because thankfully the friends I have around me (for the most part ) wouldn’t share things like this with me; and on the rare occasion that they have I’ve been the first to tell them it’s wrong if I didn’t like it and wouldn’t share it with anyone else even if it’s to prove a point.

Many years ago a guy I knew sent me naked pictures of a celebrity friend I knew, we had issues figured I’d love to use this to take a dig at her; I immediately deleted it and call him out on it, now imagine if I’d shared it with others, even if it was to prove a point?

But many of you thirst for foolishness like this, and yet want to throw temper tantrums when they’re given more attention than other things you believe are more “sensible/worthwhile”.

If you want to make the winner of a SPELLING BEE or a K.N.U.S.T Medical Student who won 6 Awards at her graduation  trend, share their stories,  talk about them , make them examples to your children; but don’t expect anyone to know about them when you yourself have refused to talk about them until NOW, just to compare them to a





Stop making comparisons when you dedicated more time and energy discussing Rashida than you did the “good example”.

You put her video in your whatsapp groups, watched it with friends over drinks, high five each other and waited for more (which she gave you) but want to pretend people like Rashida are only popular by some magic.
They’re popular because of YOU.

So stop it with the guilt trip,when you’re the real CULPRIT.

And to the people, especially parents frustrated by this turn of events, you have to understand that this isn’t the first nor will it be the last time something like this will happen, it’s unfortunately become the new standard.

So instead of worrying about the likes of Rashida, and the impact theyre making on your children, focus on instilling values that your children will not part from.

You cannot shield your children forever from the ugliness of the world, but you can raise them to know the difference and make better choices when they’re much older.

I grew up seeing a lot of things that I was curious about, and although I did make some mistakes, I always made my way back to the right path because I remembered where I was coming from and lessons I’d been taught.

You also have to worry about the impression you’re having on your own child’s life, seeing that you’re the person they have the most contact with and the first person they learn from.

The things your children hear you say and see you do are equally important.

Some of you have shared naked pictures all over and been a part of even more foolishness than Rashida;  you may think your life on social media is well hidden from your children, but you don’t know that %100.
So be the change you want to see.

And to Rashida, her fans and those who can’t stand her, understand that we all have a journey and as crazy as this may sound this is probably hers and the ONLY opportunity she has to make something better of herself.

If it bothers you or you care that much about her being a better fit in the society you see in “your mind”, reach out, offer scholarships and opportunities that will enable her turn her life around.

She can be an example of a grass to grace story, and how a person can come from ugliness and become a beacon of light.

But that’s not going to happen if you focus all your energy on tearing her down, and trying to break an obviously insecure girl down.

Racheeda hasn’t asked to be a role model, nor is she asking for your children to be like her, if she’s a role model to someone it’s their choice and not hers.

So stop expecting role models to raise your children, it’s not their job, if your children CHOOSE to want to be like them, then you have to ask why and how.
If a crop has gone bad, cutting of the branches won’t fix it, you have to get to the roots.