By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D.

I was greatly amused to read that the silent hypocrite who has been hiding suavely behind my good, old Uncle Tarkwa-Atta, for some protracted three years now, has finally emerged from under the carpet-grass in the courtyard of the old slave castle at Osu to take a shot at Mr. Kennedy Ohene Agyepong, who has been on a downward spiral the last several days for daring to fathom and express the constitutionally tabooed; that is, tabooed in the self-serving lexicon of the ruling National Democratic Congress (See “Vice President Lambasts Ken Agyapong” Ghanaweb.com 4/23/12).

One wonders where Salaga-Mahama had been all the while that executive knuckle- and chuckleheads like Hannah Bissiw, Ama Benyiwa Doe, Baba Jamal, Kobby Acheampong, Tony Aidoo and Okudzeto-Ablakwa, and the rest of the rat-pack inexorably volleyed insults at their political opponents with great glee and abandon. Maybe, like South Africa’s mirror-pated Mr. Jacob Zuma, my favorite punching bag, Salaga-Mahama was busy humping a couple more paramours in order to create a vast symphonic imperial choir of “pikinabolos” for an NDC electioneering campaign jingle. And boy, cannot I not wait to relish the same.
And perhaps, my elder brother, Salaga-Mahama, never heard the name of Mr. Sheriff Mohammed, so let me generously enlighten this arch-hypocrite about that kindly hearted and good-natured man who was the secretary of the Okaikoi-North Youth Wing of the New Patriotic Party (NPP), until he was savagely stabbed to death by one of your own NDC hired thugs at Fadama, Accra, on April 10, 2012.
Now, my brother, tell me in just a sentence: Precisely what have you and your “squint-eyed” IGP done about such unspeakable barbarism for you, Salaga-Mahama, to be arrogantly talking about using “all legal means to deal ruthlessly with individuals or groups who intend to disrupt the peace and security of the nation”? Or is it that, like your immediate boss, my good, old Uncle Tarkwa-Atta, you, Salaga-Mahama, really believe that the surest way to have your ironically named party, the National Democratic Congress, returned to power is by systematically orchestrating the brutal assassination of your political opponents, the legion Sheriff Mohammeds all over the country, and then waxing self-righteously about a man whose only crime was to democratically vent his spleen at such wanton incidents of butchery and bloody assault as were meted Mr. Mohammed and Ms. Ursula Owusu just the other day?
Going by your own party’s deft use of raw violence against your most formidable political opponents, it appears that the greatest error in judgment committed by Mr. Kennedy Agyepong, was not having been smart and tactical enough to have recruited sharp-shooting hoodlums, like those in your pay, before going on air and broaching the sacred business of harvesting the noggins of our political “enemies” – for you see, in Ghana and most of Africa, one can only properly talk about “political” and “ideological” enemies, not “opponents.”
Well, if such is your operational logic, then, as the dictum goes: Be careful what you wish for, my brother, you may well receive it before you attempt to slip the cuffs on the wrists of your next New Patriotic Party victim. And, by the way, my brother Salaga-Mahama, have you heeded my earlier advice for you to purchase at least 14 million handcuffs, if you want to reprise an Nkrumaist electoral victory of 99.99-percent of the legitimate ballots cast in Election2012?
By all means, use the first tranche – is that what they call it? – of your $6 billion China loan for the handcuffs or forever bite your tongue in unforgivable regret. My brother, Salaga-Mahama, you shall be hearing from me soon. So long!

*Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D., is Associate Professor of English, Journalism and Creative Writing at Nassau Community College of the State University of New York, Garden City. He is Director of The Sintim-Aboagye Center for Politics and Culture and author of “Danquah v. Nkrumah: In the Words of Mahoney.” E-mail: okoampaahoofe@optimum.net.
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