One of the confusing things about people is that we all grow in age but very few grow in maturity. So, you can have a 40-year old with the maturity level of a 20-year-old. This morning, let us check whether we are as mature as we should be.

Here are twenty signs that you are not as mature as you need to be. Here we go:

They are reactive; not responsive. Everything gets a reaction from immature people. The weather gets a reaction from them; other drivers get a reaction from them; someone’s actions get a reaction from them. They allow themselves to be acted upon and so they throw tantrums and engaged in verbal exchanges, often with total strangers. Mature people don’t react; they take charge of their emotions and think before they respond to a situation.

They are obsessed with their looks. It is wise to look your best every time but immature people take this to the point of obsession. They pay inordinate attention to their looks and dress to be noticed. They can throw a dress away because the first time they wore it, nobody took notice. Mature people know that grooming is important but they dress first and foremost for themselves.

They are defensive. Immature people will justify every action of theirs. They will explain every failing of theirs to make you understand that it is not their fault. In their mind, they do everything right. Immature people simply cannot see their faults. Mature people know that they don’t always do the right thing or meet expectations. They are quick to accept that and resolve to do better.

They play the victim card. Immature people are always saying, “Poor me.” They want sympathy. They feel and want you to see that everyone and everything is against them. They make everything personal. If they miss a bus, it is because the bus driver did not want to take them. They are sure the bus driver saw them coming and still took off. If you don’t notice them, it is because you knew they were there, you saw them and just ignored them.

They cannot take a joke. Immature people are quick to tease others but tease them and you hurt their feelings. Mature people are great at laughing at themselves. They want to be liked. Immature people want everyone to like them and applaud them even when they are letting everyone down.

They exaggerate their contribution and input. Listen to an immature person talk and you will think that he is the reason the sun rises every morning. In a meeting, they take credit for the best ideas and contributions. In an office, they take credit for whatever works.

They exaggerate their contribution and magnify their role in even things they did not have any contributions in. Mature people are quick to give credit where it is due.

They have an entitlement mentality. Immature people believe that life owes them something. They believe that they have a right to everything they get and so do not see why they should be grateful for anything. And they also do not see why they should work hard for anything or beg or plead for anything.
If they want it, you should give it to them no matter how they ask or whether they have worked for it.

They play the blame game. “It is not my fault,” is the battle cry of the immature. It is always someone’s fault. If they fail their exams, it is because the teachers were terrible or the exams conditions were not favourable. If they don’t get that promotion, it is because the boss is tribalistic or the witches in their families are holding them back. Mature people understand one thing: that you are not a failure until you blame someone else.

They cannot apologize. Immature people feel diminished when they have to apologize. To get genuine, I am sorry from them is almost impossible.

They are judgmental. Immature people will judge you on anything. They will judge you on the way you dress; they will judge you on the songs you love. They find fault with everyone and condemn anything that is different from what they know. For them, life is black and white; right or wrong. Mature people understand that life is much more complex than black and white and they also understand that it is not their place to decide what choices others should make.

They love to talk about other people. There are people who always have stories about other people. If you are with them in a room and you leave, you become their next topic. Spend time with an immature person and the whole conversations consist of, “Have you heard what so and so did?” “Do you know so and so is doing this and that?”

They repeat whatever they hear. Immature people are very quick to repeat whatever they hear, especially if it is about someone and it is juicy. For the immature person, if someone has said it about someone, it is true. Mature people know that people lie and fabricate stories and so they don’t repeat anything they hear until it matters to them and they have crosschecked what they have heard.

They want to be at the centre of everything or they will sabotage or undermine it or tear it apart. If you don’t involve an immature person in something, that thing, to them, is not good or doomed for failure. If they are not at the centre of a project, nothing about the project is good. Immature people are not interested in teamwork; they want to be the team and it is always about them.

They poke their noses into other people’s business. Immature people don’t know what it is to mind their own business.

They depend on others to be happy. Immature people don’t know what it means to take responsibility for their own happiness. The mature take responsibility for their own happiness.

They wear masks and pretend to be what they are not. Immature people hide who they are inside because they fear rejection. They feel they are not lovable or worthy and so they put on masks and pretend to be what will bring them acceptance. Mature people value themselves and are genuine and authentic.

They betray confidences. Open up to an immature person and you may as well have put it on social media. He will betray your confidence. He will tell your secret to everybody and tell them not to tell anyone, knowing full well that they will tell others.

They are show-offs. Immature people are all about making an impression. They want to be seen as successful and will go to any extent to make people believe that they are making it big.

They complain and whine. The favourite pastime for the immature is to complain and whine. They complain about everything. Mature people have no time to complain and whine. They are too busy making lemonade of lemons to complain about the taste of lemons.

So, there you have them: 20 signs that you are not as mature as you should be. And now, the question: how mature are you?