The best way to show appreciation to men for a good done to you is never in offering yourself for sex. Many women struggle as to what best they can offer to a man who has been good to them.

Let us take this story: there was a poor girl who had excellent results. There was no money to push her to the university level on the part of her family.

A man took pity on her and sent her to the university. She has completed. She is working with one firm which was by the effort of that same man. She receives the highest wage apart from the manger. It happens that one afternoon after work the lady began to recognize what the man has done for her. About what to do for the man to show her appreciation she finally settled on offering herself for the man since buying him a car was not the best option because the man had the in abundance. Now the best she settled on was offering herself for sex to show her appreciation.

The use of the sexual organ for favour and other opportunities can be dated back to the ancient times as far as Greek culture is concerned. At various gatherings sex served as entertainment among the Greeaks, and commercialization of sex was in practice as well. Till today, many cultures continue to practice various sexual practices that I refer to as an “abuse of the sexual organs”. I must say that the sexual organs are “good” and we must do our very best to let them remain in their natural state of goodness. The book of Genesis is always right. It reads, “all that God created was very good”. Looking at what is happening in our world today with the way sex is being trade of, I get the conviction that many of us have subscribed to the dictum “the end justifies the means”. Anyone who subscribes to this dictum absolutely for me is a pontential murderer. The end never justifies the means, unless 1. the means is good and the end too is good or 2. that the end is good and the means to the end is likewise good.

Should you therefore employ a bad means to get a good end, as it is happening, then it is wrong and therefore an abuse of the means available. The use of the sexual organ to our own favour is itself a selfish act and such an individual is against God. Sex was meant by God to happen in the context of marriage and not in a theater. Not only the moralist frowns on sex outside marriage but social customs also do. Custodians of societies see to it that sex takes place only in marriage. Therefore people were punished when they failed to observe the law. Some cultures like the Dongo of Mali will have to offer sacrifice to the gods to appease them whenever something like that happened. Sex in many African tradion is held as sacred. In some cultures, one dares not to have sex in the forest. This is an indication that the sex organs are the prize of every human being and are to be treated with dignity. For instance, a male child’s ego is high because he realizes he has the organs of a male and that put him into the categories of males and enjoys all the social benefits that come with it. Likewise is the situation when one realizes that she is a female. Sexuality is a heritage to many African cultures and cannot be abused.

Why is the use of your sexual organ for what you want wrong and hence an abuse? We are tired of hearing you say “this is my body and I can so do what I like with it”. In the first place, you must understand that the body you have is not yours. What St Paul wrote in his first letter to the Corinthians is a universal reality (6:19). If Charles Coolly was right in saying that society is a mirror, then you’re not your own. Mind you! a mirror does not belong to itself but to those it serves. Luckily enough, we serve as mirrors for one another. So the use of your sexual organ for personal gains does not end with you but as Francis Bacon says “you become a teacher to others”. Society in herself hates such things, “the use use of one’s sexual organs for benefits”. The unfortunate thing is that her whisper does not get anywhere. Sex trade in any kind is wrong because and it is an abuse of the sexual organs. In the book of Genesis we read that all that God made was good, therefore we are not manufacturers of bad and must not manufacture one. There are ongoing practices as far as the use of the sexual organs for trade are concerned that makes the act evil. The trade in sex and the use of sex for other purposes are ungodly.

There are groups of people who trade in sex. Since they will have to satisfy their customers always with good sex mates, the transport of women for this sex trade is on the increase. Many of our young women have been transported to many countries to help maintain stability in the sex market. Women who are in such businesses do only consider the amount they are earning to the detriment of their bodies and the dangers that come with it. Guys who buy women for their sex businesses are only looking into how much money they will earn at the end?

In fact, the penis and the vagina are not entrepreneurial stage for making monies. They are good and must be used for good. Sex must take place in marriage for it is in marriage that it serves its purpose of creation, the procreation of offsprings.

Sex for favour is becoming the order of the day only that it has been done in the silence. Some emplyers even after an individual had gone through the interview for the job and has qualified will demand for sex. The victim too feels that she must do it if she wants the job. Eventually, she does it. Many also hold the idea that what a woman can show as an appreciation for a good done her it by offering herself. THIS IS NEVER RIGHT. There is no custom that demands that one must offer oneself to another for what he or she has done for him/her. This is unacceptable anywhere must be condemned.

For those who offer sex for grade and those who offer grade for sex are lazy and stupid respectively. Many of such similar acts are happening even as you read this piece and as Fr says, we ought to stop this nasty act. As Fr. Kelvin Ugwu(MSP) wrote on this “sex for grade” disapproving it so do I as a social being. Fr. further writes and I quote: “ As we saw it between University professors and their female students, that is how it happens between Corpers serving in secondary schools and their female students. That is how it also happens between Senior students or school prefects in secondary schools and their JSS 3 or SS1 female students.

As we saw it happen between pastors/priests and their parishioners, that is how it happens between a boss and his secretary or subordinate. That is how it happens between an Oga in a big house and his house help. That is how it happens between those that own hotels and the females employed by them.”

In conclusion, sex is sacred and must not be desecrated. The sexual organs are gifts from God and must be cherished. Whenever you use such organ to do anything that benefits you but not as it was designed and in the right forum, you do not only desecrate it but you abuse your sexual organ.

Do not desecrate sex for it is sacred and as a result must happen among married couples. Stop trading in sex for any good. STOP THE ABUSE OF SEX NOW!

From the pen of Emmanuel Graham Nyameke.