John Dramani Mahama was born "kurkur" with 18 others in the North because condoms were ver scarce at the time.
He had all his education "kurkur" because no fees were paid because of the generosity of the Southerners, especially Akans.
John Mahama married Lordina, a native of Brong-Ahafo "kurkur" when they first met at Tamale Secondary because Lordina tolerated his womanising skills.
Then he began to impregnate all kinds of women - Zimbabweans, Malawians, Ghanaians "kurkur" because his wife, Lordina was at peace with him.
John Mahama started producing children "kurkur" and now the number has hit as many as 15, four short of his late father's 19.
He was elected a Member of Parliament for Bole-Bamboi Constituency "kurkur" because they say he is handsome.
John Mahama was appointed a Deputy Minister of Communications by Prez Rawlings "kurkur" because he is assumed to be a Communications expert.
Later, he was appointed Minister of Communications "kurkur" because of lack of competent personnel in the NDC.
John Mahama also became a Shadow Minister of Communications "kurkur", when the NDC was sent to opposition in 2001.
In 2007, he was appointed a running-mate to Prof. Mills "kurkur" because both Mohammed Mumuni and Martin Amidu could not help Mills to win the previous elections.
John Mahama became a Vice President "kurkur" by virtue of the NDC's victory in the 2008 general elections.
Due to the health problems of Prof. Mills, John Mahama admitted having opportunities "kurkur" and this made him travel every part of the world.
He spent Ghana's money "kurkur", especially when his brother Ibrahim became the first Ghanaian to own a Private Jet.
After 'killing' Prof. Mills and sending him to Korle bu Maternity Ward, John Mahama became the President "kurkur" by the help of Asiedu Nketiah and his NDC National Executive Council.
During the 2012 general elections, John Mahama spent Ghana's money "kurkur" on young girls by giving them laptops, mansions, and saloon cars.
John Mahama bought the conscience of Afari Gyan and his EC "kurkur" putting the credibility of the EC in tatters "kurkur".
He also bought the conscience of many chiefs and journalists "kurkur", making some of them speak against Free SHS policy for Ghanaian children "kurkur".
By the help of Afari Gyan, John Mahama stole the 2012 Presidential Elections "kurkur" culminating in his one touch victory "kurkur".
But fortunately for Nana Akufo-Addo and his NPP, both Afari Gyan and John Mahama had been caught red handed "kukur" and they are panicking "kurkur".
John Mahama and the EC have been hauled to the Supreme Court by Akufo-Addo and Co. "kurkur", but the NDC has applied to join the "idiots" in court "kurkur".
John Mahama went to South Africa "kurkur" for holidays when Ghanaians were celebrating the Christmas in pains "kurkur".
However, he was sworn in by Georgina Wood as illegitimate president " kurkur" on 7th January, 2013 in full attendance of foreign dignitaries "kurkur".
Currently, John Mahama has appointed over 30 Northerners out of 46 Ghanaians as Ministers "kurkur", an indication of his ethnocentric mentality "kurkur".
John Mahama has also moved to the Jubilee House on 8th February, 2013 "kurkur", making him the number one Poultry Farmer, if not a chicken "kurkur".
And just yesterday, his government has increased fuel prices " kurkur", even though Ghana is an oil producer country and the price of crude oil at world market is less than $120 per barrel.
Interestingly, John Mahama has increased his salary from GHC5000 per month to GHC12,000 "kurkur" whilst public sector workers are going on strike "kurkur" due to lower pay.
John Mahama has sold Ghana's gold in Turkey "kurkur" and now the corruption in his government is unprecedented "kurkur".
All this mediocrity has made Ghanaians suffer "kurkur", even though majority of Ghanaians never voted for him.
Ghanaians are experiencing unprecedented energy crisis, water crisis, unemployment crisis, economic and educational crises "kurkur".
But hopefully the Supreme Court will make our votes count "kurkur".
John Mahama and Afari Gyan would be humiliated "kurkur" and Mahama will leave the Golden Jubilee House in disgrace "kurkur".
Are you jealous of John Mahama's administration "kurkur"?
If yes, please let me hear your voice "kurkur" because if you "no dey bee kurkur", you "no go" enjoy the National Cake "kurkur"!
God bless Ghanaians! God bless Kufuor!!
Katakyie Kwame Opoku Agyemang, Enfield, London. (Free SHS Ambassador) Official blog: (www.katakyie.com) katakyienpp@yahoo.co.uk 07577626433 A native of Asante Bekwai-Asakyiri
"Vision, coupled with persistency, results in true success"