Opinions of Monday, 3 March 2014

Columnist: Adofo, Rockson

The King with Absolute Power To Disregard Statutory Regulations

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In the jungle of Kasapreko in the land of "Ahufo3" lives a King that wields absolute power. He has no respect for his subjects, who in his mind’s eye are simply imbeciles unworthy of human recognition. He is consciously, although gradually, presiding over the methodical extermination of his subjects through his resort to selfish application of the absolute powers vested in him by tradition.

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This King, in his adulthood, travelled outside his Kingdom to reside among some white-skinned persons. During his sojourn in the land of the White, he exhibited completely disgraceful habits unworthy of a royal family member let alone, a future king. He was worse than a perpetrator of the infamous "Katanga 419". I hope you get what I mean.

In the course of his deep-rootedness in his heinous ways, he developed a thick skin, similar to that of the elephant, against public insults and shame. He became insulated against public ridicule, therefore becoming extremely empowered to do what he wants, as and when he wants, without shame and thought.

Becoming a King, he initially fooled his subjects by pretending to have turned a new leaf. Every tongue began to sing his praises. He became an instant wisest King of all time, if not, the first ever to be created by God, with his wisdom surpassing that of the renowned biblical King Solomon.

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Was I not the first among those to trumpet his wisdom and service to humanity over the hills and in the valleys of Kasapreko? Little did people know that he was just pretending, and was nurturing an idea to unleash worse thievery and punishment on his subjects and country?

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This King, because of his past and present doubtful and suspicious ways, was once accused of being long involved in dealing in "Class A drugs". He was saved by a whisker of his skin. Has he learnt any lesson from that? No! He is rather getting worse, far ingrained in bad ways and habits.

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One day, he sat in council with his close confidants, equally miscreants probably. They hatched a plot to illegally avail themselves of the wealth of one of the areas under him, "Animiakrom", which though, he has no control over. Let me first get into the pants of their first lady, and all shall be mine.

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She is too old for Your Majesty, said one of those present. I first mind the engine before the body; I hope you get what I mean. I have further plans to servicing an old engine. Without spending time adoring the engine of what you presume to be an old banger, I will never be able to lay hands on the wealth of that area.

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The people there are outwardly physically poor, although sitting on gold. Your Majesty, then their situation is comparable to a situation of suffering hunger in the midst of plenty. Yes, you’ve hit the right note.

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I have sold a vast portion of their stool land to some companies but I have difficulty getting the covering documents signed off. It is through the influence of the 1st lady of the area that I can achieve my dream of exploiting them without much sweat. I will use my powers to assist her put her favourite candidate on the vacant throne no matter how far her subjects cry.

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In a nutshell, bribes have exchanged hands with a breach of law looming on the heads of many. The 1st lady is playing hide and seek with the long arm of the law. She remains indoors, failing to pop out to accept a notification note on her for breaking the law. Please my servants, tell anyone that comes around looking for me that I have travelled outside town. Should they discover my whereabouts, serve any document on me, then all my long fought battle, conniving with those in positions of responsibility, especially His Majesty the King, to come this far, will have been naught.

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The phone rings. Krrrrrrrrr, krrrrrrrrrr. Who is on the line, she inquires? 1st lady, it’s me, Your Majesty the King. I am ringing to ask you to disregard any order from wherever and whomever, just press ahead as I have instructed you. I shall use my influence to help you in case the long powerful arm of the law grasps you. Do you not realise that I am the only privileged King among the lot that is allowed to fly around in the "Flying Coffin?" This goes to tell how powerful I am. I don’t fear "huu"!

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I hope, once it succeeds, you will get the new chief to sign the documents on the land sale for me because the purchasers are on my heels, causing me sleepless nights. Additionally, I shall have a third of the money that has accumulated for your poor people over the last thirty years.

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I shall do as you have said. You are great, My Majesty the King. I shall give you whatever you desire from me. Hahahaha, See you later.

Turning to his confidants, the King said, how ignorant this 1ST lady is, his people are dying from preventable diseases, defecating everywhere in her village, and suffering periodic cholera and typhoid fever outbreaks, living in unsanitary conditions yet, she has allowed me, a crook as I am, an unfettered access to the wealth of her area.

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Her people, especially, the rich ones and the most influential are nonchalant about the plight of their compatriots hence not standing in to challenge me. I am pursuing my interests, whether selfishly or not. I am born to win and to be rich, that is all that I care about as the only Great King of Kasapreko.

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The 1st Lady is feverishly preparing to officially enthrone her candidate on the strictest orders of His Majesty, the seeming perpetrator of 419 with impunity, on Monday, 3rd March 2014.

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To His Majesty the King, I say, "Absolute power corrupts but corrupts absolutely" and "There is time and appointed season for everything on this earth"

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This is only a fiction to help try my hands on something else other than…..

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Rockson Adofo

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