By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D.

I read Mr. Akwasi A. Afrifa Akoto’s piece titled “Open Letter to Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jnr., Ph.D.: Concerning Your ‘Cousin’” (MyJoyOnline.com 8/24/11) and had that jaded sense of déjà-vu or “Here we go again.”
That it comes from somebody who described Dr. Arthur Kennedy’s “Chasing the Elephant into the Bush” as an edifying classic, ought to pretty much inform readers of the writer’s real intentions and political orientation. They are anything except the liberal democratic principles of the Danquah-Busia-Dombo Tradition. Definitely it has absolutely nothing to do with Dr. Joseph Kwame Kyeretwie Boakye-Danquah!
By the way, what are “Akyemisms” and “Akyemcentism,” the heinous and capital crimes with which Mr. Afrifa Akoto charges me? It is also rather presumptuous for the writer to proudly invoke his “Antoaness” (could this bloke be more “Antoaian” than my own uncle “Who Be You?” Mr. Yawbe Aboagye? The critic also imperiously invokes his “Asanteness” without even pausing for a split-second to soberly ask: Exactly where does an Akyem-Asiakwa native like Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe (Agyeman) fit into the scheme of our Akan ethnicity?
Well, gentleman, I have news for you – your downright troglodytic attempt to railroad the Akufo-Addo Presidential Campaign would not wash with either the astute Ghanaian voter or me! I am also glad that you have quelled my long-held suspicion that you are actually an NDC-Ewe sympathizer parading in the guise of a patriot (all puns intended, of course).
Anyway, it is rather a shame that he passed away before Mr. Afrifa Akoto wrote and published his pathologically devious anti-Akyem tirade trotted out in the lurid guise of a friendly advice. Else, I would have gladly asked the critic to travel to Asante-Dwaben (Juaben) and ask about my elder father, Bookman Okoampa and of our place in Asante political culture; also to Barekese for the same purpose.
And just why does anybody, including Mr. Afrifa Akoto, think that the late Osagyefo Kuntunkununku II (a.k.a. Dr. Alex Fredua Agyeman-Okoampa) was appointed Chief Mourner of Otumfuo Opoku Ware II? You see, “If you have nothing meaningful to write and complain about, don’t write and complain about it here, in this forum” (My profound apologies to Dr. Kofi Abrefa Busia). And if Mr. Afrifa Akoto happens to have any relevant roots at Asante-Mampong, he may want to also enquire about the Ntims and Sintim-Aboagyes of Akyem-Osino, Begoro, Asiakwa and Asamankese (Asaremankese).
Well, young man, Otumfuo Osei-Tutu I may well have been your ancestral overlord, and you may also from time to time be tempted by your own clinical dementia to swear by his Three Great Oaths, Mr. Afrifa Akoto. I have news for you, “young uppity Nigger”: Otumfuo Osei-Tutu I is my direct ancestor, from Kokofu to Asiakwa and Dwaben through Bono-Manso (or Nkoranza) and Manhyia. So the next time you are fatuously tempted to put your foot in “my” mouth, you may want to afford yourself a reality check.
I also love your poetic guff about me preaching “hateful philosophies” that I claim to constitute the guiding principles of the Akan. Let me tell you something: your eagerness to differentiate your “Antoaness” and “Asanteness” from Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe’s “Akyemness” and “Akyemisms,” clearly tells me that, indeed, you are merely a naturalized Asante native. Yes, I mean exactly what I am talking about! Let me also ask you a friendly question: My dear kid brother, did your parents, perchance, hack you out of a rock or you are simply a congenital idiot?!
As for your arrant nonsense about my systematically attempting to pull former President John Agyekum-Kufuor down, while fanatically being committed to an Akufo-Addo presidency, the best riposte is the one given by Nigeria’s former President Olusegun Obasanjo in the wake of the Election 2008 runoff. One thing, however, is crystal clear: you lie your “Antoaness” through your canine dentition when you sarcastically claim to have taken a “spiritual” fervor to your reading of my articles and write-ups. Let me also inform you that I covered part of the Dukakis Presidential Campaign in 1988 for the New York Amsterdam News. In other words, contrary to what you nauseatingly want your readers to believe, I did not start my journalism in the wake of the appearance of Ghanaweb.com in cyberspace.
I have also never, even once, called Nana Akufo-Addo my “cousin.” I darn well know the stark difference between an “uncle” and a “cousin.” And talking of trust among the relatives of Akufo-Addo (and, by the way, I am not a member of the Akufo-Addo Campaign, nor am I a member of the New Patriotic Party. And I have absolutely no desire to become an NPP member while Akyem-hating characters like you also claim membership of the same party!) I am also convinced that you have a deep-seated hatred for Akyems which you cunningly hide behind a patently false interest in the good political fortunes of Akufo-Addo and “millions of hungry and poor Ghanaians” who went to bed on empty stomachs last night. Once again, such nonsense does not wash with me.
Anyway, take care of yourself and come off your pathetic pretence to patriotism. And next time, by all means, read and digest my articles thoroughly before presuming to impugn the trust of the relatives of Nana Akufo-Addo. I am deeply and genuinely sorry for you and your kind of NDC-Ewe supremacy-promoting Akan-Ghanaian.
Warm regards.
Your Most-Hated Akyem Elder Brother,
Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D.
Garden City, New York, USA.