Opinions of Monday, 22 February 2016

Columnist: Seidu Samad

The dilemma of friendship

According to Dhammapada “Do not have evil-doers for friends, do not have low people for friends: have virtuous people for friends, have for friends the best of men”. We all know that friendship is a good thing. But did you know that friends have a huge impact on your happiness and quality of life? Good friends realize, provide comfort and joy, prevent loneliness and isolation and even strengthen your wellbeing.

Despite their importance, close friendship doesn’t just happen, many of us struggle to meet new friends and develop quality connections when we are willing to put in the effort and we don’t always know how to go about it. But whatever your age or circumstance, it’s never too late to make new friends or reconnect with old ones.

Technology has shifted the definitions of friendship in recent years. With the like of a button, we can turn to or make a new relationship. But having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a close friend you can turn to or be with in person, technology can facilitate social opportunities by helping you reconnect with old friends, start new relationship with people around the world who share similar interest and maintain relationship with friends who don’t live nearby.

However online friends can’t hug you when in crisis, visit you when you’re sick or celebrate a happy occasion. Our most important and powerful connection happens when we’re face-to-face so make it a priority to stay in touch in the real world, but not just online friendship. Nevertheless, online/social media friendship can make great impact in your life both cash or in kind. “Friends though absent, are still present” (Cicero).

Ideally, a friend is someone you trust, who share a deep level of understanding and communication with you. A good friend will show a genuine interest in what’s going on in your life, what you have to say and how you think and feel about things. He or she will accept you considerately without judging you, telling you how to think or feel. As friendship works both ways, a friend is also accepting and someone with who you share a bond of trust and loyalty, they will feel comfortable sharing things about themselves with you.

Having a good friend or guide will help influence your success in life, for instance where would Wayne Rooney be without Sir Alex Ferguson? Or where will you have been without the guidance of your parents? We have come this far in what we do as a result of the support we constantly get from people who have suitable characters.

Humans have always been social creators and in need of friends and companions. Much of our lives are spent in interaction with others. Making friends with righteous persons is essential means for staying on the straight path. It is clear that a person is likely to associate who you befriend. The person must be noble in character and dealing with fellow human who gave us a very clear message and advice in regards to friendship.

We should choose the friend that is satisfied with good character and avoid friend that is discontented with it. There is no good in the companion who does not wish for us (from good) what he/she wishes for himself. Friends are those who feel for their companions in both happy and sad moments.

If we share our feelings with the wrongdoer whose actions are worthless and based on sleaze, then we are following the same ways and standards as they are. Affection which results from that friendship leads to other than righteous believers and this may even lead to avoiding those who are on the right ways.

We have different kind of friends in our life: co-workers, neighbor, colleague, but how can you tell who your true friends are? Who are the ones who will see you through thick and thin, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, it may be hard to know who your “for real” friends are.

Communication is in any relationship, especially in friendship, if you and your friend are in the same page, then you should be open about your thought and feeling and maintain a level of honest and open dialogue. True friends should make you feel needed, confident, and better about being alive. If your friend is always putting you down or making you feel worthless and never give you a land words when you need it, then the friend is not a “true-blue”.

A true friend will make time for you no matter what. Though life is hectic and it’s hard to have enough time to sleep and eat, let alone socialize a true friend will always make for you especially if you need it. Almost everyone has a friend and almost everyone is one. There’s something about a best friend that cannot be duplicated.

Everyone has their own definition of what their own best friend is like and what impact he or she has made in their life. A best friend is a title held for the few and privileged. The term cannot be thrown around loosely. Not just anyone can be called your best friend. A best friend has to first meet several qualifications and have many outstanding characteristics to have the honour of holding such a prestigious title.

Being a best friend is more than just someone that you are seen every day and grown up with. A best friend can be someone with whom you’ve known since childhood but can also be someone that you’ve just met, and similar to “love at first sight” you just click with.

The true definition of a best friend can be someone that knows you inside out and would go to the ends of the earth for you and helps you through hard times. A best friend does not back away from you when you think you’ve lost it. These are the times that a best friend is always there for. A best friend is someone with whom you’ve share your most intimate secrets with, and laughed the loudest.

Friendships are one of the most important things you can get out of life. It’s something that everyone has to have because without it we would all go insane. Just think if no one talked to each other and we never made friends, this world would be a ticking time bomb. Studies say humans need friendship and love to survive. So friendship is a big part of your life. There is no real definition of friendship because there’s no one way you can define it. Friendship can mean many different things depending on the person. Friendship to you may be your boyfriend, your sister or your mum.

To someone else it may be their cousin or someone they met at school. It can take you a long time to consider someone your friend. Maybe you have to get to know them before you become their friend. Some people have had very bad experiences with friendship and may be scared to become friend with someone. So it may take some time for some people to make friends. Maybe you can become friends with someone a couple of days after you all meet.

Making of good reputation persons for friends has delectable impact in your life and speaks volumes the kind of person you are, and bad friends or associates can put you in trouble as the says goes ‘birds of the same feathers flock together’. Indirectly, your wife is your best who you consult and frequently advises you on many decisions you take, so the women you marry have a say immensely in your lifestyle, thus it’s important to choose the right couple in life.

E-mail: samad_seidu@yahoo.com

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