By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr.

Uncle Tee,
you wouldn’t believe this,
but there are a few
of your nephews
and nieces
who seem to be recovering
the use of
their thinking caps;
the smartest one
amongst them
wants a library
of failed leadership
erected in your name –
this is amazing
because she was always
the village idiot
all the while that
I have known her;
you guessed right,
she is the one
who has been
dogging me
all over the place
in bikinis
and hooker-boots
trying to snatch
a piece of
my peppermint
pie,
but I refuse to
budge;
she is too brazen
and uncouth
for my taste;
and besides,
she is such a whore
one begins
to wonder
if one of your sisters
hadn’t practiced
that ancient trade
in Lagos Town
or Bukom Square;
there is no man
in the land
who has neither seen
nor touched
her buns;
oversized lips,
devil’s tuft grass
of hair,
flat and
hirsute chest
and all,
she still claims to be
the belle
and pride
of that rat-hole
of a town
from whence
she hails…
but I am not
budging;
and if I decide
to give her
a split-second’s
playtime,
I may have to
cover and shut
my eyes hard
and think of
a pretty
dame
I used to
date,
or I would
have to throw up
and wash
the entire ordeal
down with
whisky-on-rocks…

8/3/12