Twum-Boafo Is Simply A Big, Fat Idiot And A Bully!

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D.
Garden City, New York
August 4, 2014
E-mail: okoampaahoofe@optimum.net

You would think that as the years have gone by and his stubbly mustache and pubic hair have begun to gray, that Mr. Kwadwo Twum-Boafo would have garnered a few wisps of wisdom with the knowledge that time and experience have been globally known to bring. Alas, the biological clock of the Chief Executive Officer of the Free Zones Board appears to be working contrary to normalcy.

He seems to be getting more infantile and stupid, the more birthdays he has been undeservedly blessed and privileged to notch. In the latest instance of such stupidity, Mr. Twum-Boafo is reported by the Daily Guide newspaper to have severely beaten up his official chauffeur, because the latter, whose name and age were not given, dared to intervene in a physical brawl between the Free Zones Board CEO and an elderly woman. By the preceding description, I assume that the aforesaid woman was at least about the same age as yours truly, if not a bit older (See "Daring a Political Dwarf" 7/29/14).

In a country with a life-expectancy of about 55 years for men and just under 60 years for women, I suppose being elderly is anywhere between 50 and 65 years old. Seventy and up is often classified as old, with very old being anywhere from 75 to 90 years old. Which was why I flew a bit off the handle when a young man paying a glowing tribute to Mr. K. B. Asante, recently, had the temerity to describe this nonagenarian sometime diplomat as an octogenarian.

In retrospect, it may well have been a genuine error on the part of the obstreperously exuberant homage payer. There are a legion cretins and clinical basket cases that I would rather train the turrets of my conniption at, but I have pressingly far better things to do with my leisure time, which invariably is no leisure time at all but stock-taking time. This is what decidedly differentiates the likes of yours truly from the lost souls that are the Boko Haram Scholars at the Kongi Institute. I hear the latter agitprop cabal of sidehow scam-artists has been in academic receivership for sometime now. I have seen it coming for at least a decade-and-half now. I shall have something brief to remark about it when I have had enough time to watch cartoon-TV with my two boys.

Such is exactly what the Kongi Institute has become in recent years - a cartoon entertainment television station. I also hear Dr. Casanova is back in charge and ravenously raping the female graduate students, royally, left and right. But that, too, is another juicy narrative for another less busy day and time.

What is fascinating about Mr. Twum-Boafo's "slappocracy" story is the apparent law-enforcement nullification of the same by the Mahama government. We hear that when the poor roughed up Twum-Boafo chauffeur lodged a complaint with the Accra metropolitan police, the latter solemnly pleaded "nothing-doing" on grounds that the snooty overfed slob had presidential immunity by edict of the Atingacrats at the Flagstaff House.

Just the other day, for instance, an acquaintance of mine from our Talking-Tree days at Akuapem-Akropong quipped that he had predicted in December 2012, when Uncle Kwadwo Afari-Gyan shoplifted the ballot for the Bole-Bamboi petty chieftain, that once these Ya-Tinga Boys quit doing what they had always done best - and on the latter score, of course, the chap meant the carting of "Night-Corn-Porridge" - the odious butt-running cholera epidemic was bound to ravage the land once more.

Well, my buddy only got his prediction half-right. For the Ya-Tinga Boys did not quit the Night-Corn-Porridge" business altogether. They simply went on a 4-year furlough; some think it was a strike, though. The good news is that either way, as our Akan sages of old have long observed, it shall not be long before the chickens are back to roost. Ebola, though, is a different ball-game altogether.

What also fascinates me about the Twum-Boafo story, is the young man's alleged threat to sue the publishers of the Daily Guide for telling it like it is. You see, the Dramani Boys are born bullies; they think they can intimidate their way out of justice, and that is their greatest mistake. The other day, for instance, the shark-toothed bastard was thumbing his nose at the Moderator of the Presbyterian Church of Ghana. He had pretty much over-drunk himself to the damnable extent of totally forgetting that those who made him who he is today, could just as well unmake him with ease.

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