Opinions of Tuesday, 12 December 2017

Columnist: Isaac Kyei Andoh

What kind of men should women hope to marry?

Mz Vee is reported to have stated that character does not matter if a man is rich Mz Vee is reported to have stated that character does not matter if a man is rich

As a father, if my daughter comes to tell me that her dream is to marry a poor guy, I will feel that I have invested in her in vain.

As much as I wouldn’t want her to place too much emphasis on the wealth of the guy, I’d prefer she opts for a rich guy than for a poor man.

I believe this is exactly what we pray and wish for our children, sisters and all the people we care about?

So why are we quick to condemn people who make known their desire to marry wealthy people as though they have made the most evil choice available in men selection?

Yesterday, social media was flooded by news attributed to Mz Vee in which she indicated her desire to marry a rich man regardless of his character. As much as the character of a man matters, there’s no guarantee that the supposed good man will turn out to be a good husband and so based on a lady’s experience, character is the last thing she’d put her trust in.

In view of this, as much as I disagree with Mz Vee, I don’t begrudge her or deem her a bad person who I wish evil for because she made a choice based on what she feels will make her happy.

Others though didn’t take it lightly: she was insulted, cursed and told all manner of things by readers who opted to react to the posts.

This article seeks to draw our attention as a people to how we abuse people just because of their personal choices concerning marriage for no apparent reason and why we should be ignored when such decisions are being made.

When a young lady marries a rich man, she is a gold digger, when the same opportunity comes to our relatives, we give testimony at church.

When a young lady marries a broke man, we hail her for being a marriage material but don’t allow the poor national service guy to visit our daughters

In this day and age when men want to know the jobs women do even before asking them out for dates, every woman has got the right to dream, pursue the dream even if that dream alienates some men and narrows her potentials husbands down to a few people. That’s her choice and should not be taken away from her.

If she fails, that’s up to her, if she succeeds, glory be to God. After all, nothing shows that those who held out for perfect husbands by way of character ended up with that kind of man.

For the young ladies and guys yet to make this all important decision, know what you want and work towards getting it. If your crush is a woman with big butt, don’t let anyone judge you for making that choice, don’t go for a woman with a flat butt to please society and have a miserable marriage. If you crave for flat butt, gladly go for it.

There are good girls in every body size and shape if you search well and according to your own unique terms. Some people married women who don’t move them because of society’s view that marrying a beautiful girl is the result of overlooking inner beauty.

Some people are afraid of dating rich men because as a people we have demonized money to the extent that the source of wealth of most people is attributed to the devil.

I am not saying marry a rich man, a woman with big breast or a short guy: I am saying marry the kind of people you want to spend your remaining life with.

If you marry this kind of person, the energy to fight and make it work will come naturally to you. When you opt to please society, you will give up easily when things go wrong.

Remember that whatever choice you make, you live with the consequence. It is better to fail knowing that you did it for yourself than to spend the rest of your life with someone who you’re not happy with.

Our mothers were said to have had better marriages during the days marriages were largely arranged, what our elders will not admit is that most of our mothers had no say in their marriages and suffered silently because the voices of society wouldn’t allow them to be heard.

Today, the yoke has been removed; you have the power to decide: don’t let standards of people dictate to you.

If you marry a poor guy, some will say you are desperate and unambitious; if you marry a rich lady, many will call you a gold digger.

The sum of all this is that the best person you can live for is you