Opinions of Friday, 11 December 2020

Columnist: Stacy M. Amewoyi

When your life matters

Stacy M. Amewoyi Stacy M. Amewoyi

It’s okay to struggle, but it’s never okay to give up on yourself. We were never promised an easy journey, so the shame and disappointments, happy and exciting moments together makes a lifetime.

Therefore, when you are faced with difficult moments, be assured happy moments are just on standby waiting for you to overcome. It is tough and hard to fathom these obstacles, but giving up is never an option; be poised for greater things as you gear up your mind into positive thoughts.

One of the things that drain the strength of man is relationships. Having a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship seems normal but when it getting serious, waves of disappointments including cheating, pride, ego and lies etc. With that being said, here are some digestible pieces of advice that I find to work effectively if done efficiently.

For starters,be sure to date someone mature enough to say “let's fix this” instead of just acting childish and ignoring you. At times the reassurance may not be there but be matured enough to take your stand whether to be in or out of the relationship. But don’t rush into love because even in fairytales, the happy endings take place on the last page.

Also stop feeling bad for outgrowing people who had the chance to grow with you. There are times and seasons for everyone. The moment you feel down spirited, another is in high spirits, same as when your door closes another open.
The growth of people sometimes also does not depend on age, for chances do happen anywhere and anytime just as death. So, when you are being so hard on yourself, trying to compare yourself to your others mates, remember, some of your age mates have also died.

It is comprehensible sometimes, if you have to walk away from people. This is not because you don’t care but because they don’t. time waits for no one they say, so there is the need to apportion your time to needful things that will bring results but for those that will stress you out, let them go and have no time explaining yourself over why.

Whenever you sit up every night, thinking of all the mistakes you have made and how much you regret making them because life could have been different if you did it, remember the past can never be relived and you can never reach for what is in front of you, until you let go of what is behind you.

The moment when you start feeling okay for once but then you find yourself, overthinking everything and suddenly a wave of sadness hits you like a truck, still remember, it’s not over because you can still write a better ending.
I think the only reason people hold on memories so tight is because they don’t change but people do change. But you don’t know the pain those memories cause until you look yourself in the mirror with tears in your eyes and begging yourself to just hold on and be strong.

Stop getting attached to people so fast because attachments lead to expectations and expectations to disappointments. Humans will continue to be humans, no one is perfect and our day to day activities at times require us to step on the toes of others.

Don’t be a victim of hurting others and when you get hurt, make sure you are unavailable if it should happen again. It’s okay if you are angry but it’s never right to be cruel. Don’t repay evil with evil and likewise, don’t be tempted to cause others the same pain you have been through or are going through.

Look in the mirror and come to the understanding that you are in no competition with others but yourself. Quit looking and engaging in unhealthy competitions. If you believe in yourself and what is right, life will be simple for you. Don’t be afraid of going slow, just be worried of being at a standstill.
Make yourself rich by making your wants few. Enough of the extravagant spending and impulse buying. You make no savings with that. Get what is needed and make what is wanted secondary, with time, you will realize you didn’t even want them after all.

With work, always remember that when you are happy at your workplace, it gives you more peace. It isn’t about the wages but your health. Work pressures have killed a lot more people than you can imagine. From difficult bosses, to meeting deadly timelines, then from confusing sleep to early morning traffic.

You can go the extra mile because it’s not crowded but it shouldn’t be in conflict with your health. Your intuition is a muscle, to develop it, you need to listen to it. Never ignore its promptings as it is there to guide you on every decision you make.

Always believe that something wonderful is going to happen as you pay more attention to learn new things and avoid loose talk which invites trouble. Learn to forgive quickly and make your heart fonder to beautiful things like, loving others irrespective of who they are.

The most attractive thing about you should have less to do with your face and body. It should be more about your heart and how you treat people. This is because, if we all were to throw all our problems in a pile, and saw everyone else’s, we would grab ours back. Let’s try to give people a bit of our hearts instead of a piece of our minds. Do remember that respect lasts longer than attention.

Don’t play the victim either, nor make yourself look pitiful. Avoid pointing fingers as you look for culprits but stand firm and deal with whatever is at hand. The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell.

Always remember to put God first and don’t be afraid when you start losing friends as you make your way to higher grounds. May God help us all.