How the smile of a woman changed a short-tempered, polygamous man

Followers of David Papa Bondze- Mbir were totally refreshed today, by a story that was shared on his platform. A young man wrote to David, about his marriage of twelve years and how he and his wife both changed their lifestyles because of love.

The young man narrates his story as someone who was very short-tempered, and a womanizer, who played women and treated them badly, criticizing every fault, until he met his wife.

“Every lady I dated had issues with my short temper and would eventually end their relationship with me. I criticized everything too, especially their faults. The ladies I dated in the past were never happy with me, though I tried to be nice. I thought being a man meant to control, taking charge, having my way, being the head, etc.”

According to the writer, he had dropped one of his girlfriends on campus, when he almost run into his now wife, walking by the roadside with earpieces on.

He said in his anger to almost shout at her, the lady turned to say sorry, and that took away all the anger that he was feeling.

“I got out of my car to shout at her. When she turned and realized what could have happened, she apologized. It was the way she said, “I’m so sorry, sir” that managed my anger,” he wrote.

Read the his full story spotted by Ghanaweb below

"Good evening David,

I have a story to share with you. I had a very bad temper. The type that could put me in trouble. Every lady I dated had issues with my short temper and would eventually end their relationship with me. I criticized everything too, especially their faults. The ladies I dated in the past were never happy with me, though I tried to be nice. I thought being a man meant control, taking charge, having my way, being the head, etc.

Another side of me that changed drastically, was my ‘player’ mood. I used to change women even when I was in committed relationships. I had money, I could do and have anything I wanted. I lived a fast life until I met my wife. I had dropped one of my girlfriends on campus, and was about driving home to my main woman. I wouldn’t say my wife is the beautiful woman I have ever seen. In fact, most of my exes were prettier. She caught my attention because she had earphones on (probably listening to music) and was walking on the road. I almost knocked her down.

I got out of my car to shout at her. When she turned, and realized what could have happened, she apologized. It was the way she said, “I’m so sorry, sir” that managed my anger. I have never been quick tempered since. I asked where she was going, and gave her ride. I wanted to know her. She was such a plain and simple, yet intriguing personality – I couldn’t help but to ask for her number. One thing about her that I found attractive was her smile. It kind of, stuck on my mind. I couldn’t wait to get home, and so I called her while driving to chat more.

When I got home, my main woman had packed out. We had had an argument that morning about my numerous affairs, and I think I had said some really nasty things to her. My wife asked me if I were single. Dave, under normal circumstance, I would have lied that I was. That was my line to most women in my past, just to have a bite. I never told any of them I was in a serious relationship. I would just say, “It’s complicated “ and then leave the Maths to them. But for my wife, I couldn’t lie. I told the truth. I had a serious girlfriend I intended marrying. After our phone call that day, I could not get her out of my mind. She never called me once. I was doing all the calling and texting and thinking about her. I wanted to know and be with her.

Let me fast forward: my girlfriend ended things with me because she had found someone new. I texted my wife about it, and she called me for the first time. The way she says, “I’m very sorry“ works on me. I love the way she talks to me. I ended every sexual relationship with my other girls when I realized my wife was interested in me too. I asked her out and we started talking more intimately. She told me she did not know how to cook. And that, she’d do everything possible (study hard, earn degrees, get a good job, make enough money) to afford a comfortable life. She has a PhD now, and actually earns so much from her job.

When she mentioned not being a cook, I thought it was a joke. But she was serious. She did not know how to cook. She always ate out, or bought food home. My past relationships had all been cooking for me. This was new. Let me also say this, after we got married, I cooked for her and the kids for nine years. If I wasn’t around to cook, my mum or hers would step in to cook. She wasn’t/isn’t lazy. In fact, my wife is a very hardworking person. She’s managed two financial institutions to survive. She makes time for the kids. She handles their homework always, takes very good care of them. Our home is always clean and smelling good, she ensures all that. She just cannot cook. Left to her alone, we could hire a chef or a kitchen manager, because we have a very big kitchen.

After that first date, I decided to learn how to cook. I took a special one hour cooking class with a friend who operated a restaurant in Accra. I made my mother visit me a lot then too, just to teach me how to prepare the basic meals. She was surprised because she knew me. I didn’t have time to stand and wait in the kitchen – if not to get served. I told her about my girlfriend, and the fact that she did not know how to cook. Mum wanted to volunteer to teach her, but I insisted I learned it instead. It was at that point that my mother knew I might really be in love with my wife.

I introduced her to my mother, and they were good to go. I married my wife, and life has never been the same for me. I have become a better version of myself. She’s brought out the very best in me. I have never looked at another woman since I nearly knocked her down at Legon, 12 years ago. For her sake, I had to deal with my anger and infidelity issues. Because I was hoping – for the sake of the kind of relationship I wanted to enjoy with her, I would care enough to change my bad behavior.

On our 10th wedding anniversary, she invited our families and close friends to a lunch party. Apparently, she had reached out to my mother and hers, to teach her how to cook all sorts of meals. She had learned new recipes also on YouTube, and from friends, and had made efforts to learn how to cook. I was shocked when I returned home that Friday evening. She hadn’t gone to work that day. Saturday morning, I witnessed my wife preparing everything on her own. That was the first time I cried. I couldn’t understand the tears but then, it all made sense to me. I love my wife.

I know my mother is the best cook in the world. Even my kids used to testify to that. But after my wife’s first cooking, everyone had a new song to sing about. The best meal ever. She took over the kitchen after our 10 anniversary. I am still used to the kitchen, I always find myself there. She doesn’t allow me to cook anymore, even when I want to help. She’d prefer I rather talked about what was on my mind, while she got busy.

Dave, there is someone out there for everyone. You are never too old or young to find someone meant for only you. There are over 7 billion people on this earth. There is someone meant to change whatever you feel is normal to you, to become better at something new.”